Pain Relief

Another restless night with sleep broken by muscle cramps in my legs and arms; by morning, my body has finally found a comfortable position—just in time to get up. At times, I am sorely tempted to despair. I lie in bed, not wanting to move, because I know that the simple act of getting out of bed will cause increased discomfort. It usually takes a good hour before I can move without pain. By then, my meds have kicked in, and my muscles have limbered up a bit.

As I lie there, trying to will the night to come back, a voice pops into my head. The voice is that of a speaker who has faced and is facing a far more physical burden than I am.

“When I get to heaven I’m going to have a brand new body. I’m not going to walk with a limp; I’m not going to talk funny anymore; I’m going to walk and talk like Jesus. If you don’t like the way I am, hang in there. I’m still in the oven. God’s still in the kitchen. God’s still cooking on me; And when God gets finished cooking on me, God’s going to pull me out of the oven and God’s going to say, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.”’

David Ring http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPQOzwaD_hk&NR=1 was born with Cerebral Palsy. He was raised in an environment of abuse, which lasted up until adulthood. He is one of the most inspiring speakers that I have ever heard.

His voice in my head reminds me that this body, which is so uncomfortable, is just a temporary dwelling place. With that reminder, I am once again, lifted beyond the present and moved to begin my day with the glorious hope of a better tomorrow encouraging me onward.

Remember, dear ones, this life and its toils are just fleeting in comparison with an everlasting promise of Heaven. When I focus on Him, I forget myself…pain and all.
What a day that will be, when my Jesus I shall see…What a day, what a day, that will be.

Lump

So I have this lump. As any woman knows, once they hear that a lump has been found, nothing in life looks quite the same every again. It doesn't matter whether the lump is found to be cancer, or a benign tumor, the emotional effects of hearing that word for the first time is still the same. It is a feeling much like what I experienced when I had a miscarriage. My body is all of a sudden this foreign thing that is attacking me.

The discovery of the lump and the miscarriage are equally devastating. In the case of the lump, my life feels, on some level or other--depending on the outcome of the biopsy--to be in peril. With the miscarriage, the precious life inside me was in peril. In both, I felt like my body had broken my trust. More than that, my body felt like an enemy. As with any enemy, it is not functioning in my best interests.

In a way, this same feeling comes to me when I know that I have stepped out of the will of God. My entire being feels like it no longer is serving my best interests, and is actually working to my ruination. What I wonder is why I constantly allow myself to move in these destructive direction?

With the lump and the miscarriage, it was completely out of my hands. All I could do was to trust that God has a plan and lean on the fact that He loves me and would not allow anything that was not in His will and within His plan.

With the rebellion, however(and lets call a spade a spade...it is rebellion),it is completely in my power to change. Again, I must ask, "why?"

Seeking God is something that I do, often without thinking. Stopping in this needed quest and rebelling is something that I seem to do, also without thinking. How I must frustrate my God. Thankfully, He loves me enough to send me a wake-up call.

Today, a friend send me a lovely email. At the bottom of this, was a line signature that said: "A woman should be so lost in God that a man must seek Him in order to find her." Wow! This really spoke to me. It both reprimanded and instructed me.

Have you ever read a line somewhere that just popped out and smacked you in the face? Well, this is exactly what this line did. It was a wake-up call. So, my dear ones, Now wide awake, I am encouraged, and encouraging you, to seek Him and loose yourself in Him.

Our pastor asked, a while ago, what people see when they look at us. Now, I ask myself the same question, "what do people see when they look at me?" Apart from the obvious--you are about 50 pounds overweight--do people see Christ when they look at me? Do they see his love reflected in my eyes? Do they feel his touch when I touch them? Does my physical and emotional demeanor reflect a life based in Him?

Sadly, I have to wonder to what extent I can answer "yes" to any of those queries. Another wake-up call. Can I really and truly believe that I am Christian in the purest sense of the title, if I am not so completely lost in Him that people see Him when looking at me?

As usual, my dear ones, food for thought, and a little bit of encouragement to "get right" and "get lost" in Him. Know that I will sure be making more of an effort to keep my focus and my energy aimed in that direction.

As always, dear ones, know that God loves you, and so do I!
Jude

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