Croc Hunter

When we watch the news and hear of someone who has become so familiar to us, dying, it never rings true. What then happens is that we listen to the news at every opportunity for the next couple of days. Each time we hear those same words, it sinks in a little bit more. It is true. This person who has brought us so much enjoyment, taught us so much, and thrilled us with his antics is, indeed, dead.

Then you get to the place where you believe it, are shocked and dismayed by it, and don't really want to hear anyone say it again...but it goes on. For days and days, it is mentioned in the news and almost every conversation. Until, finally, you reach the point where you want to move past it and get on to the next thing. That is, unless you are one of those close people, who's life is now forever altered because of the loss. For them, every time they hear those words, it will be another stab to their hearts. As time passes, the stabbing will become less painful, but it will always be there.

It is to them, that I send my heartfelt regrets for this having occured. It is their loss that I recognize. To them, I leave this wonderful, love-filled poem that came to me over this device, today:

The Crocs are Crying

Endless visions fill my head -- this man as large as life
And instantly my heart mourns for his angels and his wife
Because the way I see Steve Irwin - just put everything aside
It comes back to his family - it comes back to his pride

His animals inclusive - Crikey - light the place with love!
Shine his star with everything he fought to rise above
The crazy-man of Khaki from the day he left the pouch
Living out his dream and in that classic `Stevo' crouch

Exploding forth with character and redefining cheek
It's one thing to be honoured as a champion unique
It's one thing to have microphones and spotlight cameras shoved
It's another to be taken in and genuinely loved

But that was where he had it right - I guess he always knew
From his fathers' modest reptile park and then Australia Zoo
We cringed at times and shook our heads - but true to natures call
There was something very Irwin in the make up of us all

Yes the more I care to think of it - the more he had it right
If you're going to make a difference - make it big and make it
bright!
Yes - he was a lunatic! Yes - he went head first!
But he made the world feel happy with his energetic burst

A world so large and loyal that it's hard to comprehend
I doubt we truly count the warmth until life meets an end
To count it now I say a prayer with words of inspiration
May the spotlight shine forever on his dream for conservation

.My daughter broke the news to me - my six year old in tears
It was like she'd just turned old enough to show her honest fears
I tried to make some sense of it but whilst her Dad was trying
His little girl explained it best.she said "The crocodiles are
crying"

Their best mate's up in heaven now - the crocs up there are smiling!
And as sure as flowers, poems and cards and memories are piling
As sure as we'll continue with the trademarks of his spiel
Of all the tributes worthy - he was rough.but he was real

As sure as `Crikey!' fills the sky
I think we'll miss ya Steve.goodbye

RUPERT McCALL 2006

Some Days Are Diamonds (Some Days Are Stone)

When You asked how I've been here without you
I'd like to say I've been fine and I do.
But we both know the truth is hard to come by
And if I told the truth that's not quite true

Some days are diamonds some days are stones
Sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone
Sometimes a cold wind blows a chill in my bones
Some days are diamonds some days are stones.

Now the face that I see in my mirror
More and more is a stranger to me
More and more I can see there's a danger
In becoming what I never thought I'd be

Some days are diamonds some days are stones
Sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone
Sometimes a cold wind blows a chill in my bones
Some days are diamonds some days are stones.

Some days are diamonds some days are stones
Sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone
Sometimes a cold wind blows a chill in my bones
Some days are diamonds some days are stones.

Some days are diamonds; some days are stone. Seems like the bad times won't leave me alone. la la la John Denver sure could write a song. None of his touched my heart as this one did, though.

As I listen to my wonderful ipod(yes, that's right. I am one techno mamma), I am transported back to a painful time in my life. The songs, well, they are mostly from MY era, the 50's '60's, a few that were goldies in those days, and a few that are more up to date. When I heard the Diamonds and Stone song for the first time, I so remember how I was feeling. I was sitting in the dark, on a cement ledge, at a high school near my parent's new home. (it sure didn't feel like my home) The world, as I knew it, was now over.

At the end of my grade 8 year, I was told that I had been chosen of one of only 2 students in the school to attend a technical college. Boy, did I ever feel like I was special...for about one hour. That is how long it took my pea brain to figure out that they were telling me that I was not good enough to succeed in the mainstream educational path. When I went back to the principal's office to ask about it all, now that the initial numbness had worn off, he was brutely honest about it.

Okay, I know that I was smarter than that. My problem was that I was a dreamer. Most of my time was spent in books, or whatever activity would help me escape what I found to be a very painful world. As I look back, I realize that by the age of 15 years, I was already so disallusioned by life, that all I wanted to do was to survive, as best I could, through each day. Every new day that I was given was more of an extended sentence than a blessing. By the age of 16 years, I was on the path to destruction.

The words, "Some days are diamonds," came to mean a day that I actually got from the point of waking up, to the point of going to bed without anyone causing any critical injury to my fragile self-esteem. And, as with most valuable diamonds, they were hard to find, and harder to hold on to. The days of "stone" were far more frequent.

Now, as a mother of adult children, I sometimes wonder if my screw ups have caused more "stones" than "diamonds" in my children's life. Lord, I sure hope not. Hopefully, I was a good mother, far more often than I was a total failure. In the end, we can't go back and fix those mistakes, just pray that God was able to work around them to guide our children into fairly well-adjusted people.

In my humble opinion, I have three pretty wonderful children. They don't always call or visit as much as I would like; but I know that they are hard workers and honest people of intergrety. I know that any of them would willingly sacrifice to help another, especially each other. I don't worry about what kind of people they will turn out to be, as I can see that they are all going to turn out just fine. They are the type of people that will enrich others, just by their aquaintence. Needless to say, I am thankful that they managed to grow up without my sensitive, painfulness becoming a part of who they are.

So, if you are wondering if you are totally screwing up your kids, keep in mind: God is bigger than the sum total of our mistakes. After the age of accountability, they are basically making decisions about the type of people they are going to be. All we can do is our best, and pray fervently for the rest to be covered by God's grace and love.

Know that God loves you, just the way you are...screw-ups and all; and so do I.
Be blessed, Jude