When praying for those you love, do you believe that God is listening, caring and answering your prayers? When He answers, do you recognize that fact--or like me, do you pray, and wait for some great change to occur right before your unbelieving eyes? That is exactly the way I was. This weekend, however, God opened my eyes, and I realized the error of my ways.
For over 15 years, I have been praying for a softening of my husband's heart. In many ways, he was a cold, inflexable and hate-filled person. While there was much good in him, these attributes caused me a great deal of hurt. So, as any good Christian wife would do, I prayed for my unsaved husband. I really don't know what I expected--maybe a lightening bolt would come and strike him and he would be changed. Every time there was a big crisis in our life, I expected him to see the error of his ways and to come through it all a changed man. To my disappointment, he came through and remained just the same.
A few years ago, my son came and helped on the farm for the summer. I saw a gratefulness in my husband that I had never seen before, but did not recognize it for what it was. When we dropped my son off at the bus depot at the end of the summer, my husband, much to my embarrassment, broke into tears and sobbing. I was appauled. Instead of realizing that God has brought about the softening that I had been praying for, I was the one with the hard heart. Seeing my husband in his emotional state made me angry and discusted.
This weekend, I realized for the first time, that God had answered my prayer for Brian's heart. It was a big "splinter in your neighbour's eye" moment for me. I was so ashamed. Instead of trusting and recognizing God's work in my husband's heart, I saw it as one more thing that bothered me. What I realized is that I was so concerned about the state of my husband's heart, that I forgot to be concerned about the state of my heart.
Since this realization, I have begun to look at my husband in a whole new light. I have also started to pray for my own heart to be softened. God answers prayer. He just doesn't answer them our way, or in our time. Sometimes, the answer is subtle, and sometimes, the answer is to change us, more than those we are praying for. He has been teaching me about happiness and contentment, lately. Maybe, through these lessons, He had my attention long enough to teach me about how He answers prayer, and about judgement. I pray that He never stops teaching me these lessons. While they hurt, I am a far better person for the learning of them.
Be blessed, and be assured, God does care when you speak to Him, and He always answers.