Another restless night with sleep broken by muscle cramps in my legs and arms; by morning, my body has finally found a comfortable position—just in time to get up. At times, I am sorely tempted to despair. I lie in bed, not wanting to move, because I know that the simple act of getting out of bed will cause increased discomfort. It usually takes a good hour before I can move without pain. By then, my meds have kicked in, and my muscles have limbered up a bit.
As I lie there, trying to will the night to come back, a voice pops into my head. The voice is that of a speaker who has faced and is facing a far more physical burden than I am.
“When I get to heaven I’m going to have a brand new body. I’m not going to walk with a limp; I’m not going to talk funny anymore; I’m going to walk and talk like Jesus. If you don’t like the way I am, hang in there. I’m still in the oven. God’s still in the kitchen. God’s still cooking on me; And when God gets finished cooking on me, God’s going to pull me out of the oven and God’s going to say, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.”’
David Ring http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPQOzwaD_hk&NR=1 was born with Cerebral Palsy. He was raised in an environment of abuse, which lasted up until adulthood. He is one of the most inspiring speakers that I have ever heard.
His voice in my head reminds me that this body, which is so uncomfortable, is just a temporary dwelling place. With that reminder, I am once again, lifted beyond the present and moved to begin my day with the glorious hope of a better tomorrow encouraging me onward.
Remember, dear ones, this life and its toils are just fleeting in comparison with an everlasting promise of Heaven. When I focus on Him, I forget myself…pain and all.
What a day that will be, when my Jesus I shall see…What a day, what a day, that will be.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Pressing In
“I trust in your plan for my life, Lord; but please listen while I tell You what that is.”
How much do you really trust that God has a plan for your life? Do you truly believe that He is working it all out for your good?
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and eternal life.”
When we are busy telling God what the ‘plan’ is for our life, do we realize that we may be getting in God’s way? How can we possibly promise the same glorious outcome to our earthly, ignorant plans that God is promising?
It is your life. God has given you self will to make your own choices. However, knowing the weakness of the human condition, He has also provided us with an instructional guide in form of the Bible. He has furthermore provided us with personal instruction in the form of the Holy Spirit. Going one step further, He has given us the ultimate goal to strive for and a way to achieve it.
Pastor has spoken about pressing in. I have asked several Christians, of different faiths, from all around the world, what they would tell a new Christian “pressing in” meant. It surprised me to find that some had never heard that term, some did not know what it meant, and some decided to legalize the simple phrase into a very complicated discussion on religion.
How can we possibly be in step with God’s perfect plan for our lives if we do not know how to press in closer to His presence? Needless to say, my prayer list has gotten much longer with my research on the subject. For myself, though, I am going to seek Him fervently. I am going to press in so close that I may leave bruises on his ribs—such is my desire to be close to Him.
Press in, dear ones. If you are not clear on what that means, or how to accomplish it, talk to your Pastor.Remember, if you are wise enough to recognize what you do not know or understand, and intelegent enough to seek wisdom, the possibility for growth, knowledge, and understanding is greatly increased.
My challenge for this week is to purposely make time for Him. I will open my Bible and seek His company, His guidence, and His wisdom. I will press in to Him with all my might.
How much do you really trust that God has a plan for your life? Do you truly believe that He is working it all out for your good?
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and eternal life.”
When we are busy telling God what the ‘plan’ is for our life, do we realize that we may be getting in God’s way? How can we possibly promise the same glorious outcome to our earthly, ignorant plans that God is promising?
It is your life. God has given you self will to make your own choices. However, knowing the weakness of the human condition, He has also provided us with an instructional guide in form of the Bible. He has furthermore provided us with personal instruction in the form of the Holy Spirit. Going one step further, He has given us the ultimate goal to strive for and a way to achieve it.
Pastor has spoken about pressing in. I have asked several Christians, of different faiths, from all around the world, what they would tell a new Christian “pressing in” meant. It surprised me to find that some had never heard that term, some did not know what it meant, and some decided to legalize the simple phrase into a very complicated discussion on religion.
How can we possibly be in step with God’s perfect plan for our lives if we do not know how to press in closer to His presence? Needless to say, my prayer list has gotten much longer with my research on the subject. For myself, though, I am going to seek Him fervently. I am going to press in so close that I may leave bruises on his ribs—such is my desire to be close to Him.
Press in, dear ones. If you are not clear on what that means, or how to accomplish it, talk to your Pastor.Remember, if you are wise enough to recognize what you do not know or understand, and intelegent enough to seek wisdom, the possibility for growth, knowledge, and understanding is greatly increased.
My challenge for this week is to purposely make time for Him. I will open my Bible and seek His company, His guidence, and His wisdom. I will press in to Him with all my might.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
God's Warning Signs
My home is situated in a rural area of Northwestern Ontario. People come and go, but other than that, not much changes. The seasons rotate, children grow up, every once in a while, someone will move in or move away. However, in the grand scheme of things, day in and day out, life remains the same.
A while back, someone, in their ultimate wisdom, put up a stop sign by an uncontrolled train track. This train track has been there since very early in the 1900's. People have come and gone, crossing the tracks, for over 100 years. They got used to slowing down to a crawl, looking both ways, then proceeding with caution--not exactly the railroad rule of stop, look, and listen that we learned in grade school. But these "country stops" are the norm around here. At each stop sign, road junction, train track, etc. we just slow down to a crawl, give a good look, then proceed (sometimes with caution, sometimes without--depending on how distracted we are).
The other day, I crossed the tracks, and realized that I had crossed the tracks and barely slowed down. I couldn't remember if I had looked left or right. I did NOT stop at the stop sign. Needless to say, I found that rather distressing. How often, I wondered, had I crossed those tracks without giving them the respect that they should have had?
Then, I got to thinking about how God gives us a sign. He prepares us for the hard times in our lives. We, in our human narcissism, do not recognize these signs. When we do, we often try to rationalize, minimize what He is trying to tell us.
Things are always bad before they get worse. We need to be so in tune with Him that we recognize the warning signs and seek guidance and help before things get worse.
It is like this stop sign that seems to have been posted for no apparent reason. Someone, somewhere, knew something that was not mine to know. They had the authority to do something to prevent something bad from becoming something worse. Instead of respecting that, those of us who have crossed that track for years, simply kept crossing in the same way we always had.
Years ago, a fellow had been killed while going over the train tracks. The story is that he was tired and wasn't paying attention. How is that different from my not paying attention and not slowing down and taking a good look?
In the past couple of years the speed and length of trains has increased exponentially. There are no longer cabooses, engineers are at the controls for extremely long hours, and the chances of a train/auto accident has been increased accordingly.
Just like that stop sign, God gives us signs to get our attention. They are meant to slow us down so that we will wait for his guidence. They are meant to slow us down or stop us, so we wait for his will, his timing, his plan to play itself out in our lives.
Just like that stop sign, I have gone by these God signs without paying attention. Next thing I know, I have found myself at a destination, or in a situation, which is definitely out of his will, timing, or plan for my life. Usually, when finding myself lost like that, I then turn for his guidance. As my mom would say, "a day late, and a penny short." My husband says it is like shutting the barn door after the cow got loose. Either way, it is the same principal...I am in a fine mess of my own making because I did not keep God involved. I did not seek his voice, nor did I pay attention to any of the signs that He supplied to warn me that I was out of his will.
So, my sweet ones, whether the signs before you make sense, or not, pay attention. God just might be trying to prevent something bad from becoming worse. Take the time to slow down and listen for his voice. Put your stubborn self aside and seek his guidance--before you find yourself in a pickle.
In all things, and in all times, know that He loves you. His greatest desire is your good.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Have a wonderful, God based beginning to 2010. Remember that every single moment is a blessing. God could either call you home, or send Christ to return at any moment. Live each day to do some good for others, to honour God and bring increase to the kingdom. Watch for his signs in your life, and stay close to his side.
Happy New Year!
Jude
www.awriterstoolbox.com
A while back, someone, in their ultimate wisdom, put up a stop sign by an uncontrolled train track. This train track has been there since very early in the 1900's. People have come and gone, crossing the tracks, for over 100 years. They got used to slowing down to a crawl, looking both ways, then proceeding with caution--not exactly the railroad rule of stop, look, and listen that we learned in grade school. But these "country stops" are the norm around here. At each stop sign, road junction, train track, etc. we just slow down to a crawl, give a good look, then proceed (sometimes with caution, sometimes without--depending on how distracted we are).
The other day, I crossed the tracks, and realized that I had crossed the tracks and barely slowed down. I couldn't remember if I had looked left or right. I did NOT stop at the stop sign. Needless to say, I found that rather distressing. How often, I wondered, had I crossed those tracks without giving them the respect that they should have had?
Then, I got to thinking about how God gives us a sign. He prepares us for the hard times in our lives. We, in our human narcissism, do not recognize these signs. When we do, we often try to rationalize, minimize what He is trying to tell us.
Things are always bad before they get worse. We need to be so in tune with Him that we recognize the warning signs and seek guidance and help before things get worse.
It is like this stop sign that seems to have been posted for no apparent reason. Someone, somewhere, knew something that was not mine to know. They had the authority to do something to prevent something bad from becoming something worse. Instead of respecting that, those of us who have crossed that track for years, simply kept crossing in the same way we always had.
Years ago, a fellow had been killed while going over the train tracks. The story is that he was tired and wasn't paying attention. How is that different from my not paying attention and not slowing down and taking a good look?
In the past couple of years the speed and length of trains has increased exponentially. There are no longer cabooses, engineers are at the controls for extremely long hours, and the chances of a train/auto accident has been increased accordingly.
Just like that stop sign, God gives us signs to get our attention. They are meant to slow us down so that we will wait for his guidence. They are meant to slow us down or stop us, so we wait for his will, his timing, his plan to play itself out in our lives.
Just like that stop sign, I have gone by these God signs without paying attention. Next thing I know, I have found myself at a destination, or in a situation, which is definitely out of his will, timing, or plan for my life. Usually, when finding myself lost like that, I then turn for his guidance. As my mom would say, "a day late, and a penny short." My husband says it is like shutting the barn door after the cow got loose. Either way, it is the same principal...I am in a fine mess of my own making because I did not keep God involved. I did not seek his voice, nor did I pay attention to any of the signs that He supplied to warn me that I was out of his will.
So, my sweet ones, whether the signs before you make sense, or not, pay attention. God just might be trying to prevent something bad from becoming worse. Take the time to slow down and listen for his voice. Put your stubborn self aside and seek his guidance--before you find yourself in a pickle.
In all things, and in all times, know that He loves you. His greatest desire is your good.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Have a wonderful, God based beginning to 2010. Remember that every single moment is a blessing. God could either call you home, or send Christ to return at any moment. Live each day to do some good for others, to honour God and bring increase to the kingdom. Watch for his signs in your life, and stay close to his side.
Happy New Year!
Jude
www.awriterstoolbox.com
Monday, September 21, 2009
The Same...Only Different
The Same—Only Different
“The assurance has grown upon me that here, in the Scriptures, at the very heart and core of our faith, Christians are far more at one than their outward divisions would imply.” J B Phillips
This statement is true only as long as those professing Christian are grounded in the Scriptures; only if they are Bible believing, Bible guided and Bible studying people are they indeed close to what that statement describes. I would agree that they are closer to the whole family of Christ, than what their particular church choice’s doctrines would indicate.
Unfortunately, many “Christians” that we come into contact with do not meet that simple litmus test. Oh, they might meet one or two points of what describes a Christian, however, sadly, many do not meet all three of that simple criterion. Believe; be guided by; study. Many of them know the Bible inside and out. However, when in conversation with them about its basic principals, you will find some room for doubt.
“All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in out lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.” II Timothy 3:16 NLT
False doctrine is not just something that is going on in the un-churched; it is prevalent in many of our churches and Christian groups. In each gathering, there are those who read the Bible then pick and choose which parts to believe and which parts not to. There are those who take a hold of those portions that support their personal preferences, supplying fuel for the argument in support of bias, prejudice, division, or excuses for un-Godly behaviour.
These people, for all their cranial knowledge of the Word, are not taking their responsibility as Christians as seriously, as they need to. Theirs is a selfish faith. They use their Christianity and the Bible with a personal agenda being their sole purpose for studying, or quoting. They will debate, quote, and use any form of connivance to sway those who are seeking into their way of thinking and belief.
If you are in conversation or association with a Christian and find yourself feeling that something is not quite right—or something they are sharing does not ring true, use your Bible as the litmus test. Check the facts. Whenever something comes to you that you either have not heard before, or are hearing in a different way, it is always good to go to your Bible and check it out. Sometimes, reading a verse in the context of the entire Bible chapter, or book, will put things into a better perspective.
A good Bible Concordance is an invaluable tool for this kind of research. It will help you narrow your search down to those passages that are relevant to the subject at hand. Strong’s concordances are very user friendly and are quite affordable.
One thing is certain, the Bible will either confirm or increase your understanding, or it will show you what is false and protect you from being led down the wrong path. When in doubt, check your facts. A fact that you can count on as true: 2600 statements in the Bible affirm that “God said” or that Scripture is “the Word of God.”
God has made himself known in many ways throughout Scripture. Still, there are those who have their doubts. Having doubts is not a sin. Taking those doubts and structuring a personal version of Bible truths, then preaching them in order to sway others to your way of thinking, is. It is dishonest, and selfish. In addition, it is my personal belief that it is cowardly. Delving into Scripture and allowing it to honestly minister to you and in your life, can be a scary thing. Many of us would rather not have that particular mirror held up to us.
Thankfully, God is merciful and He constantly works to teach, guide, and repair our lives toward the Truth. One of our tools of defense is the teaching and accountability of Bible Studies. In this venue of personal sharing, one can ask questions and gain a clear understanding and consensus on the lessons and truths of the Bible. They can also learn how to apply these lessons and truths to their lives.
The more you know, not only of what the Bible says, but what the Bible means, the better protected you are against false teachings.
“It is a wonder God did not loose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, He embraced us. He took our sin—dead lives and made us alive in Christ.” Ephesians 2:3-5 MSG
Remember, when we are unsure, God knows. He gave us the Bible, his Word, for a reason. READ IT. STUDY IT. BELIEVE IT.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man [woman] of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” II Timothy 1:14 MSG
“The assurance has grown upon me that here, in the Scriptures, at the very heart and core of our faith, Christians are far more at one than their outward divisions would imply.” J B Phillips
This statement is true only as long as those professing Christian are grounded in the Scriptures; only if they are Bible believing, Bible guided and Bible studying people are they indeed close to what that statement describes. I would agree that they are closer to the whole family of Christ, than what their particular church choice’s doctrines would indicate.
Unfortunately, many “Christians” that we come into contact with do not meet that simple litmus test. Oh, they might meet one or two points of what describes a Christian, however, sadly, many do not meet all three of that simple criterion. Believe; be guided by; study. Many of them know the Bible inside and out. However, when in conversation with them about its basic principals, you will find some room for doubt.
“All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in out lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.” II Timothy 3:16 NLT
False doctrine is not just something that is going on in the un-churched; it is prevalent in many of our churches and Christian groups. In each gathering, there are those who read the Bible then pick and choose which parts to believe and which parts not to. There are those who take a hold of those portions that support their personal preferences, supplying fuel for the argument in support of bias, prejudice, division, or excuses for un-Godly behaviour.
These people, for all their cranial knowledge of the Word, are not taking their responsibility as Christians as seriously, as they need to. Theirs is a selfish faith. They use their Christianity and the Bible with a personal agenda being their sole purpose for studying, or quoting. They will debate, quote, and use any form of connivance to sway those who are seeking into their way of thinking and belief.
If you are in conversation or association with a Christian and find yourself feeling that something is not quite right—or something they are sharing does not ring true, use your Bible as the litmus test. Check the facts. Whenever something comes to you that you either have not heard before, or are hearing in a different way, it is always good to go to your Bible and check it out. Sometimes, reading a verse in the context of the entire Bible chapter, or book, will put things into a better perspective.
A good Bible Concordance is an invaluable tool for this kind of research. It will help you narrow your search down to those passages that are relevant to the subject at hand. Strong’s concordances are very user friendly and are quite affordable.
One thing is certain, the Bible will either confirm or increase your understanding, or it will show you what is false and protect you from being led down the wrong path. When in doubt, check your facts. A fact that you can count on as true: 2600 statements in the Bible affirm that “God said” or that Scripture is “the Word of God.”
God has made himself known in many ways throughout Scripture. Still, there are those who have their doubts. Having doubts is not a sin. Taking those doubts and structuring a personal version of Bible truths, then preaching them in order to sway others to your way of thinking, is. It is dishonest, and selfish. In addition, it is my personal belief that it is cowardly. Delving into Scripture and allowing it to honestly minister to you and in your life, can be a scary thing. Many of us would rather not have that particular mirror held up to us.
Thankfully, God is merciful and He constantly works to teach, guide, and repair our lives toward the Truth. One of our tools of defense is the teaching and accountability of Bible Studies. In this venue of personal sharing, one can ask questions and gain a clear understanding and consensus on the lessons and truths of the Bible. They can also learn how to apply these lessons and truths to their lives.
The more you know, not only of what the Bible says, but what the Bible means, the better protected you are against false teachings.
“It is a wonder God did not loose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, He embraced us. He took our sin—dead lives and made us alive in Christ.” Ephesians 2:3-5 MSG
Remember, when we are unsure, God knows. He gave us the Bible, his Word, for a reason. READ IT. STUDY IT. BELIEVE IT.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man [woman] of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” II Timothy 1:14 MSG
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Strongholds
The message today was on strongholds. It reminded me about a study that I did a few years ago. It was done in my room, just me and God. The study, “Facing the Giants in Your Life” by Dr. David Jeremiah, really touched me deeply.
How many of those strongholds have I won victory over, I wondered, as I drove home from church. That led me to wonder what the biggest stronghold was in my life today. Often when I am driving the 40 or so minutes to and from town, I am deep in thought about something or other, or praying as I drive (yes, with my eyes open.)
This time in the car is when God has me as a captive audience. There is no escaping his voice in my ear. He can even reach me over the volume of the radio. Today, He was prompting me to look deep in my heart of hearts and recognize that which was keeping me trapped and away from His side.
What I realized, as I thought and prayed, was that an image kept coming to my mind. It was the image of my mother lying in a hospital bed, her legs blackened up past her knee. You see, my mother was a diabetic and she had gangrene in both of her legs. She chose not to have any amputation. Once again, I felt the anguish of watching her suffer, and knowing that there was nothing any of us could do to relieve her pain. It felt as real as it had when she was still alive, over twenty years ago.
Now that I have been diagnosed with diabetes, this image is always lurking, causing a deep and terribly crippling fear in my heart of hearts. Will I end up like Mom? Will I suffer as she did? These questions are never far from my mind. Each time my ankle swells, or I have leg cramps, or my toes tingle, or my heel becomes calloused, or... the fear increases.
In so many things, I have placed my complete trust in God’s plan for my life. Facing cancer—five times—did not instill in me the fear that the mental image of those blackened legs has. This, I recognized, is my greatest stronghold.
What is tricky about these types of strongholds is that we do not realize what a profound affect they have on so many other areas of our lives. The fear of my diabetes has coloured my relationships with family and friends; it has caused me to make choices, which, at times, are not the wisest, God purposed choices; and it has crippled me in my faith walk, handicapping my spirit and the Spirit’s work in my life. In a very real way, this fear has me giving up—giving up on the joy that should fill each day; giving up on trusting God for healing, as well. Now, I know that I have always had trust issues, but I did not realize that I had trust issues where God is concerned. I always thought that I trusted Him completely…however, in this stronghold, I have to ask myself, where is my trust in God?
So, all of this understood, what do I do about it? The first step, of course, is recognizing that there is a problem. Just as it is true with an alcoholic recognizing that he is powerless over his alcoholism, so must I recognize that I am completely powerless over this fear. Only in complete submission to that revelation, can I let go completely and allow God to work on it. As long as I try to battle even the smallest part of that fear, satan has a toehold to continue to persecute me through it and bind me to it.
Next, I have to find the courage to allow God to work on it. Even the most fearful, uncomfortable place can become comfortable—especially with those of us who feel like we are not worthy of any better.
My job, in the work, is to pray fervently for God to remove this fear…and this image from me. I know, with all of my heart and being, that only through Him can I be relieved of the chains of this fear.
My challenge to you, dear ones, is to search your heart of hearts to discover that which holds you in bondage. What are the strongholds in your life?
Here is a small list to help you sort that out. It is the list of strongholds that are worked through in the before mentioned study. I have included a Bible reference which speaks to this stronghold.
For myself, I think it is time to work through the study again. Needless to say, I will be concentrating on “fear.”
LIST OF STRONGHOLDS
- Fear (Deuteronomy 1:19-40)
- Discouragement (Nehemiah 4)
- Loneliness (Colossians 1:21,22; Hebrew 10:25, Roman’s 12:4-6)
- Worry (Matthew 6:25-34)
- Guilt (Psalms 32 and 51)
- Temptation (1 Corinthians 10:12-14)
- Anger (Ephesians 4:25-32)
- Resentment (Matthew 5:38-42)
- Doubt (John 20:24-29)
- Procrastination (Acts 24:22-27)
- Failure (II Corinthians 4:7-18)
- Jealousy (1 Corinthians 13:4; Ephesians 4:30)
May God richly bless your personal time with Him.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (New International Version)
4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
www.awriterstoolbox.com
How many of those strongholds have I won victory over, I wondered, as I drove home from church. That led me to wonder what the biggest stronghold was in my life today. Often when I am driving the 40 or so minutes to and from town, I am deep in thought about something or other, or praying as I drive (yes, with my eyes open.)
This time in the car is when God has me as a captive audience. There is no escaping his voice in my ear. He can even reach me over the volume of the radio. Today, He was prompting me to look deep in my heart of hearts and recognize that which was keeping me trapped and away from His side.
What I realized, as I thought and prayed, was that an image kept coming to my mind. It was the image of my mother lying in a hospital bed, her legs blackened up past her knee. You see, my mother was a diabetic and she had gangrene in both of her legs. She chose not to have any amputation. Once again, I felt the anguish of watching her suffer, and knowing that there was nothing any of us could do to relieve her pain. It felt as real as it had when she was still alive, over twenty years ago.
Now that I have been diagnosed with diabetes, this image is always lurking, causing a deep and terribly crippling fear in my heart of hearts. Will I end up like Mom? Will I suffer as she did? These questions are never far from my mind. Each time my ankle swells, or I have leg cramps, or my toes tingle, or my heel becomes calloused, or... the fear increases.
In so many things, I have placed my complete trust in God’s plan for my life. Facing cancer—five times—did not instill in me the fear that the mental image of those blackened legs has. This, I recognized, is my greatest stronghold.
What is tricky about these types of strongholds is that we do not realize what a profound affect they have on so many other areas of our lives. The fear of my diabetes has coloured my relationships with family and friends; it has caused me to make choices, which, at times, are not the wisest, God purposed choices; and it has crippled me in my faith walk, handicapping my spirit and the Spirit’s work in my life. In a very real way, this fear has me giving up—giving up on the joy that should fill each day; giving up on trusting God for healing, as well. Now, I know that I have always had trust issues, but I did not realize that I had trust issues where God is concerned. I always thought that I trusted Him completely…however, in this stronghold, I have to ask myself, where is my trust in God?
So, all of this understood, what do I do about it? The first step, of course, is recognizing that there is a problem. Just as it is true with an alcoholic recognizing that he is powerless over his alcoholism, so must I recognize that I am completely powerless over this fear. Only in complete submission to that revelation, can I let go completely and allow God to work on it. As long as I try to battle even the smallest part of that fear, satan has a toehold to continue to persecute me through it and bind me to it.
Next, I have to find the courage to allow God to work on it. Even the most fearful, uncomfortable place can become comfortable—especially with those of us who feel like we are not worthy of any better.
My job, in the work, is to pray fervently for God to remove this fear…and this image from me. I know, with all of my heart and being, that only through Him can I be relieved of the chains of this fear.
My challenge to you, dear ones, is to search your heart of hearts to discover that which holds you in bondage. What are the strongholds in your life?
Here is a small list to help you sort that out. It is the list of strongholds that are worked through in the before mentioned study. I have included a Bible reference which speaks to this stronghold.
For myself, I think it is time to work through the study again. Needless to say, I will be concentrating on “fear.”
LIST OF STRONGHOLDS
- Fear (Deuteronomy 1:19-40)
- Discouragement (Nehemiah 4)
- Loneliness (Colossians 1:21,22; Hebrew 10:25, Roman’s 12:4-6)
- Worry (Matthew 6:25-34)
- Guilt (Psalms 32 and 51)
- Temptation (1 Corinthians 10:12-14)
- Anger (Ephesians 4:25-32)
- Resentment (Matthew 5:38-42)
- Doubt (John 20:24-29)
- Procrastination (Acts 24:22-27)
- Failure (II Corinthians 4:7-18)
- Jealousy (1 Corinthians 13:4; Ephesians 4:30)
May God richly bless your personal time with Him.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (New International Version)
4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
www.awriterstoolbox.com
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Lump
So I have this lump. As any woman knows, once they hear that a lump has been found, nothing in life looks quite the same every again. It doesn't matter whether the lump is found to be cancer, or a benign tumor, the emotional effects of hearing that word for the first time is still the same. It is a feeling much like what I experienced when I had a miscarriage. My body is all of a sudden this foreign thing that is attacking me.
The discovery of the lump and the miscarriage are equally devastating. In the case of the lump, my life feels, on some level or other--depending on the outcome of the biopsy--to be in peril. With the miscarriage, the precious life inside me was in peril. In both, I felt like my body had broken my trust. More than that, my body felt like an enemy. As with any enemy, it is not functioning in my best interests.
In a way, this same feeling comes to me when I know that I have stepped out of the will of God. My entire being feels like it no longer is serving my best interests, and is actually working to my ruination. What I wonder is why I constantly allow myself to move in these destructive direction?
With the lump and the miscarriage, it was completely out of my hands. All I could do was to trust that God has a plan and lean on the fact that He loves me and would not allow anything that was not in His will and within His plan.
With the rebellion, however(and lets call a spade a spade...it is rebellion),it is completely in my power to change. Again, I must ask, "why?"
Seeking God is something that I do, often without thinking. Stopping in this needed quest and rebelling is something that I seem to do, also without thinking. How I must frustrate my God. Thankfully, He loves me enough to send me a wake-up call.
Today, a friend send me a lovely email. At the bottom of this, was a line signature that said: "A woman should be so lost in God that a man must seek Him in order to find her." Wow! This really spoke to me. It both reprimanded and instructed me.
Have you ever read a line somewhere that just popped out and smacked you in the face? Well, this is exactly what this line did. It was a wake-up call. So, my dear ones, Now wide awake, I am encouraged, and encouraging you, to seek Him and loose yourself in Him.
Our pastor asked, a while ago, what people see when they look at us. Now, I ask myself the same question, "what do people see when they look at me?" Apart from the obvious--you are about 50 pounds overweight--do people see Christ when they look at me? Do they see his love reflected in my eyes? Do they feel his touch when I touch them? Does my physical and emotional demeanor reflect a life based in Him?
Sadly, I have to wonder to what extent I can answer "yes" to any of those queries. Another wake-up call. Can I really and truly believe that I am Christian in the purest sense of the title, if I am not so completely lost in Him that people see Him when looking at me?
As usual, my dear ones, food for thought, and a little bit of encouragement to "get right" and "get lost" in Him. Know that I will sure be making more of an effort to keep my focus and my energy aimed in that direction.
As always, dear ones, know that God loves you, and so do I!
Jude
www.awriterstoolbox.com
Friday, March 07, 2008
The Marraige Bed
Both my friend, Laurie, and I have had our daughters married in the past few months. We both share, with amusement, some of the transitional issues that newly married folk have to work through. All the while, we are going back in time to the place where we were faced with these same transitional struggles.
Laurie's daughter has to deal with being an instant step-mom, as well as stepping into a home that has functioned till now, without her input. She is struggling, not only to find her place in this already established family, but to have her preferences and desires paid attention to. She feels, a good deal of the time, like someone who has been hired as a live-in maid. Her new husband, goes through his day, as he always has, and often pays her the same amount of attention that he pays his children. Not that he at all is a slacker in that, but as a new wife, Laurie's daughter needs to feel loved, appreciated, and longs for that glow she had while dating her dashing new husband.
Instead of feeling like she is a new bride, she feels like a dependable vaccuum cleaner--there to clean up after everyone, and appreciated only when she gets the job done to everyone's satisfaction.
A big issue is meal time. The family is used to meals that are prepared a certain way--the way their mom used to prepare them. Laurie's daughter, unfortunately, did not grow up with this sainted woman, and has no idea how she used to prepare their meals. All she knows is how her own mom prepared them. The fact that Laurie's daughter is an excellent cook, who takes the health of her new family very seriously in the meal planning process, has absolutely nothing to do with it all. The kids like the things the way they were, and Laurie's daughter's attempts to provide delicious and nutritious meals only seem to aggrivate them.
All Laurie could advise was for her daughter to get the children to show her how they like things, and to slowly, one recipe at a time, move them into her personal cooking style. Slow and easy is always the best process for such drastic change.
My daughter's transition has been much easier, as she and her new husband had worked together very closely on a mission's team. They had lived in a mission house, with their team, and have learned a lot of personal preferences about one another that most do not have to deal with until they are married. Then, when the knight in shining armor leaves his dirty socks on the floor of the bedroom, the crash from his pedistal is so audible that it rocks four adjoining states. She is, however, having a struggle that every single newly married person faces, to some degree or other.
Heather is an extrememly light sleeper, and has never had to share a bed with anyone more than a night or two. Now, with her new husband, she is finding that she can not get the solid sleep that her body desperately needs. She is the type that actually gets ill, if she suffers from lack of rest.
Now, those of us who have gone through that struggle for personal space, can relate, I know. Telling her that it will get easier, does nothing to aleviate her stress over it all, right now. The situation is made worse, I think, because they have a second bedroom where she can escape to. While this allows her to get the much needed rest, it will only make the transition take that much longer. It is like pulling off a bandade. If you put off pulling it off, in only gets harder to do, and actually causes more harm. Because I know this is really a painful issue for her, I have polled my friends on what the hardest thing was that they had to deal with when they first were married. They were more than willing to share some of their horror stories, and some of their--often humourous--solutions.
What did surprise me, though, was to find out that this sharing a bed with another person was one of the most painful and upsetting of the transitional issues. The wife carries a feeling like she is, in some way, failing as a "good" wife. The husband carries a feeling that he is somehow failing in providing for his new wife.
It is obviously not an issue to take lightly. Since I really did not come up with any answers for my daughter other than the one I gave her previously, I may do more research on the subject of newly married transitional issues. The writer in me wants to do the research and dig until I come up with a better answer for my daughter.
This activity will also keep me so busy that I won't be interfering in the transitional period beyond what God ordains. It is a win/win situation.
If you have any "newly married" stories that you would like to share, contact me through my website: www.awriterstoolbox.com
Through this sharing, maybe we can bring at least a smile to our newly married daughter's faces. We will also come to realize that we were not as alone in these struggles as we at first thought.
Be blessed, dear ones. Know that God loves you, and so do I
Jude
Laurie's daughter has to deal with being an instant step-mom, as well as stepping into a home that has functioned till now, without her input. She is struggling, not only to find her place in this already established family, but to have her preferences and desires paid attention to. She feels, a good deal of the time, like someone who has been hired as a live-in maid. Her new husband, goes through his day, as he always has, and often pays her the same amount of attention that he pays his children. Not that he at all is a slacker in that, but as a new wife, Laurie's daughter needs to feel loved, appreciated, and longs for that glow she had while dating her dashing new husband.
Instead of feeling like she is a new bride, she feels like a dependable vaccuum cleaner--there to clean up after everyone, and appreciated only when she gets the job done to everyone's satisfaction.
A big issue is meal time. The family is used to meals that are prepared a certain way--the way their mom used to prepare them. Laurie's daughter, unfortunately, did not grow up with this sainted woman, and has no idea how she used to prepare their meals. All she knows is how her own mom prepared them. The fact that Laurie's daughter is an excellent cook, who takes the health of her new family very seriously in the meal planning process, has absolutely nothing to do with it all. The kids like the things the way they were, and Laurie's daughter's attempts to provide delicious and nutritious meals only seem to aggrivate them.
All Laurie could advise was for her daughter to get the children to show her how they like things, and to slowly, one recipe at a time, move them into her personal cooking style. Slow and easy is always the best process for such drastic change.
My daughter's transition has been much easier, as she and her new husband had worked together very closely on a mission's team. They had lived in a mission house, with their team, and have learned a lot of personal preferences about one another that most do not have to deal with until they are married. Then, when the knight in shining armor leaves his dirty socks on the floor of the bedroom, the crash from his pedistal is so audible that it rocks four adjoining states. She is, however, having a struggle that every single newly married person faces, to some degree or other.
Heather is an extrememly light sleeper, and has never had to share a bed with anyone more than a night or two. Now, with her new husband, she is finding that she can not get the solid sleep that her body desperately needs. She is the type that actually gets ill, if she suffers from lack of rest.
Now, those of us who have gone through that struggle for personal space, can relate, I know. Telling her that it will get easier, does nothing to aleviate her stress over it all, right now. The situation is made worse, I think, because they have a second bedroom where she can escape to. While this allows her to get the much needed rest, it will only make the transition take that much longer. It is like pulling off a bandade. If you put off pulling it off, in only gets harder to do, and actually causes more harm. Because I know this is really a painful issue for her, I have polled my friends on what the hardest thing was that they had to deal with when they first were married. They were more than willing to share some of their horror stories, and some of their--often humourous--solutions.
What did surprise me, though, was to find out that this sharing a bed with another person was one of the most painful and upsetting of the transitional issues. The wife carries a feeling like she is, in some way, failing as a "good" wife. The husband carries a feeling that he is somehow failing in providing for his new wife.
It is obviously not an issue to take lightly. Since I really did not come up with any answers for my daughter other than the one I gave her previously, I may do more research on the subject of newly married transitional issues. The writer in me wants to do the research and dig until I come up with a better answer for my daughter.
This activity will also keep me so busy that I won't be interfering in the transitional period beyond what God ordains. It is a win/win situation.
If you have any "newly married" stories that you would like to share, contact me through my website: www.awriterstoolbox.com
Through this sharing, maybe we can bring at least a smile to our newly married daughter's faces. We will also come to realize that we were not as alone in these struggles as we at first thought.
Be blessed, dear ones. Know that God loves you, and so do I
Jude
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Footprints
FootprintsLike all of my Christian friends, the poem "Footprints" is scattered all around my home. Even my favorite pen has tiny footprints running up and down its length. Needless to say, I love the message of that poem. Just knowing that God is there to support me when I have not the strength, courage, nor wherewithal to support myself, gives me great comfort.
As I look at the small postie with the sand-coloured footprints along its base, and the words, "that is when I carried you" along the top, it brings me to thinking about my own footprints. What kind of trail have I left in the sandy beach of life? I would like to say that they were straight, you know, to fit in the narrow way; but unfortunately, my life was hard fought for and hard won for Christ.
As a writer, I love doing research. Much of my time is deep in forensic text books. Through this research, I remember being very interested in a section on footprints. From the way they were set, spaced, aimed, or how deep they were into a soft ground, a forensic scientist could tell you a lot about the person who had made them.
As I think back on my life, I realize how very telling my footprints would be. My periods of anger would have my prints space a bit further apart, and deeper set as I charged through my days. The days when I just felt the burden was too much to handle, my footprints would be close together and would probably wander in a meandering path along my day.
There were times when my footprints would have been made with rebellious biker boots, and times when having absolutely nothing left to loose, bare feet. Times when only the partial print of my toes would show, as I danced through my day in complete joy.
Yes, each and every footprint would leave telling evidence of how my day was going and how I was dealing with it. As I have grown in my Christian walk, what great joy and comfort have come to be mine as I accept that God has been walking along with me. The more mature I become in Him, the more I can look back and recognize His footprints next to mine. And, like mine, His also have changed in reflection of how He has felt as he walked along beside me.
One thing that I know for sure, no matter whether His footprints are close together, far apart, or set deep into the sand, I know that He is walking beside me for one reason, and one reason only; He loves me.
What I pray for today, and the rest of my life is that my footprints lead me closer and closer to His throne. I also pray that along the journey, I am able to touch many who do not know Him, and introduce them to His great love and grace through Jesus Christ.
Walk on, my dear ones. Remember, God is walking along with you.
Jude
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
A Bright New Year
A bright new year, I heave a huge sigh, God has granted me another entire year. As I look back on my year, there are definate times when I know that I have been a blessing to God and to those in my association. There are, however, also many times when I know that I have not been much of a blessing to anyone. SIGH!
I could determine to do much better in this new year; but why set myself up to a task that I have so little control over accomplishing? It is more realistic to determine to do my best with whatever God sends my way. That, I know I can accomplish, as long as I allow Him to help me.
This was a very unique end to a year. In the last month, my daughter was married, my two sons were home for the wedding (I got to see them through my friends eyes, and was very proud to be their mother), and my home was emptied of most of my last child's possessions. Needless to say, with everyone gone, and her possessions packed up to be shipped out, the place feels very empty.
Now, I could determine to feel depressed and mournful of the fact that she is half a world away, and my sons are a good distance from home, as well--and to be honest, I often slip into that depression--but for today, the first day of this new year, I am determined to count my blessings. All of my children are safe, healthy, and doing what they love to do. Concentrating on their happiness, instead of my loneliness, makes this new year feel bright and full of promise.
The year started with 2 people signing on for writing courses on my web site. There is absolutely nothing I love doing more than sharing my knowledge and passion for fiction writing with those who are just beginning their writing adventure. God has truly blessed me with these budding writers in my life.
My husband is sitting watching a hockey game (with his eyes closed) and I am catching up with a month's worth of posts on my favorite writing loop (ACFW)...oh yes, and doing a New Year's post on here. he he
There are moments when I feel that I can't stand living in such an isolated location from my family (Northwestern Ontario), but today I went for a walk in the winter wonderland that is my home, and was blessed with sightings of deer, Blue Jay, Canada Jay and even a rabbit. If I lived in the city where my family all dwell, I know that I would be longing for the quiet and beauty of the country. So, there you go.
Thinking of friends who are far away also makes me a bit sad. I wonder if I will ever see them again. A dear friend passed on, this Christmas. This made me realize how very precious those I love are to me. It also made me scoot keeping in contact with them to a much higher level on my priority list.
So, with my daughter, Heather, heading back to New Zealand, my oldest son, Mike, back in Winnipeg, starting a new job and working to move his family, and Dan, my middle child being back in Windsor, working as needed and working on his music passions, I could feel very all along. However, God has blessed me with a husband who, while not the most exciting man on earth, loves me dearly. I am truly blessed. All of my little family love one another and are supportive...even when we don't quite understand or appreciate what the other is up to. Many people can not claim these precious blessings.
With that thought, my New Year's prayer is for those who are without anyone to miss; without family to love them; those who are alone in this world. My prayer is that they come to know Christ, and with that knowledge, they will come to the realization that they are never alone. Once God(Christ) is invited into their lives, He will never leave them nor forsake them. (Hebrews 13:5) This verse has held me together during the worste parts of my life...and my year. Hopefully, that knowledge will sustain you, as well.
So, my dear friends and family, when looking back at your 2007, try focusing on those things that brought you joy and not the things that caused you concern. With this mindset, 2008 can't help but look like a bright new year.
Be blessed. Know that God loves you...yes, even you...and so do I.
Jude
I could determine to do much better in this new year; but why set myself up to a task that I have so little control over accomplishing? It is more realistic to determine to do my best with whatever God sends my way. That, I know I can accomplish, as long as I allow Him to help me.
This was a very unique end to a year. In the last month, my daughter was married, my two sons were home for the wedding (I got to see them through my friends eyes, and was very proud to be their mother), and my home was emptied of most of my last child's possessions. Needless to say, with everyone gone, and her possessions packed up to be shipped out, the place feels very empty.
Now, I could determine to feel depressed and mournful of the fact that she is half a world away, and my sons are a good distance from home, as well--and to be honest, I often slip into that depression--but for today, the first day of this new year, I am determined to count my blessings. All of my children are safe, healthy, and doing what they love to do. Concentrating on their happiness, instead of my loneliness, makes this new year feel bright and full of promise.
The year started with 2 people signing on for writing courses on my web site. There is absolutely nothing I love doing more than sharing my knowledge and passion for fiction writing with those who are just beginning their writing adventure. God has truly blessed me with these budding writers in my life.
My husband is sitting watching a hockey game (with his eyes closed) and I am catching up with a month's worth of posts on my favorite writing loop (ACFW)...oh yes, and doing a New Year's post on here. he he
There are moments when I feel that I can't stand living in such an isolated location from my family (Northwestern Ontario), but today I went for a walk in the winter wonderland that is my home, and was blessed with sightings of deer, Blue Jay, Canada Jay and even a rabbit. If I lived in the city where my family all dwell, I know that I would be longing for the quiet and beauty of the country. So, there you go.
Thinking of friends who are far away also makes me a bit sad. I wonder if I will ever see them again. A dear friend passed on, this Christmas. This made me realize how very precious those I love are to me. It also made me scoot keeping in contact with them to a much higher level on my priority list.
So, with my daughter, Heather, heading back to New Zealand, my oldest son, Mike, back in Winnipeg, starting a new job and working to move his family, and Dan, my middle child being back in Windsor, working as needed and working on his music passions, I could feel very all along. However, God has blessed me with a husband who, while not the most exciting man on earth, loves me dearly. I am truly blessed. All of my little family love one another and are supportive...even when we don't quite understand or appreciate what the other is up to. Many people can not claim these precious blessings.
With that thought, my New Year's prayer is for those who are without anyone to miss; without family to love them; those who are alone in this world. My prayer is that they come to know Christ, and with that knowledge, they will come to the realization that they are never alone. Once God(Christ) is invited into their lives, He will never leave them nor forsake them. (Hebrews 13:5) This verse has held me together during the worste parts of my life...and my year. Hopefully, that knowledge will sustain you, as well.
So, my dear friends and family, when looking back at your 2007, try focusing on those things that brought you joy and not the things that caused you concern. With this mindset, 2008 can't help but look like a bright new year.
Be blessed. Know that God loves you...yes, even you...and so do I.
Jude
Monday, December 03, 2007
Sparkling White Winter
It is finally here; our sparkling white winter. For the last few years, there hasn't been any significant amount of snow. I know, this sounds like a real blessing, doesn't it? However, my daughter is coming home to get married, and one of her dreams is a white wedding and Christmas. Since she hasn't been home for Christmas for several years, she hasn't seen how little snow we have experienced for that time.
So, it was with great joy, that I watched as the snow fell...and fell...and fell! We are now up to about 8 inches of the white stuff. Which is more like what it is supposed to be like here in the frozen north.
This morning, as I left at first light for town and the swimming pool, I was overwhelmed with the beauty of my drive. The temperature had plummeted, through the night, and all of the trees, bushes, and fences were covered with hoar frost. Everything was white and sparkling with the frosty crystals. It was indeed a winter wonderland. How I wished that this was wedding day, and all of my daughters friends and new relatives from New Zealand were here to witness God's winter handiwork.
There was no wind to speak of, nor sunshine,so the beauty of the frost lasted all day. Just having this sparkling beauty around me kept my spirits up as I went through my busy day.
As I was driving home, I remembered when, as a young child, I had asked my father why they call it "horror" frost. My dad's response was, "because everything is so horrified at how cold it has become. They put on this layer of frost, which, like long underwear, protects them from the cold."
Well, I am now 55 years old, and that is still the only explaination I have ever had of hoar frost. So, until someone tells me different, I will continue to view it as the trees and bushes putting on their long underwear to ward off the bitter cold.
I wonder, did you ever ask about one of these winter wonders? What was the response you got? If you have a good "winter" story, will you email it to me at kbhwfe2000@yahoo.ca and I will compile and send them to everyone who has contributed a story.
There is much that is harsh about winter weather, here in Canada's Northland. However, there is much that is beautiful. I wouldn't trade the glistening white snow for all the sand in Florida.
Be blessed, my dear ones. Take a moment to remember the wonder that the white stuff brought to our young hearts. Have a warm cup of hot chocolate, and wrap yourself in the warmth of childhood memories.
Jude
Saturday, October 06, 2007
World Rugby
Okay, I have to admit right off that I am not a great sports fan. While I wish our Canadian teams well, I really have not kept up with even our hockey more than I needed to for conversations with my sons. It has been a long time since I sat through a game of anything other than equestrian sports.
With my daughter in New Zealand, and there being so little we are able to share of that experience, I have taken the plunge and began to watch the Rugby World Cup games. At first, it was just so I could witness the New Zealand All Blacks do the Huka, but then I got hooked into the game.
You know how these obsessions begin; first it is just one, then another, and before you know it you are having supper 2 hours late because you didn't want to miss any of the game. Which, would be alright if you lived alone and did not have a husband waiting for his supper.
Next, you find yourself getting up at 6 am so you didn't miss the beginning of a game. This time, I can justify my unusual behaviour because it was the first Canadian game I was able to watch. I sat bleary-eyed and sipped my tea, waiting in half-asleep anticipation for the teams to come out and sing their national anthems. How proud I was feeling that my country's team would be singing 'O Canada' for all the world to hear.
The teams were about a half hour late, from what the listing on my satellite guide said, but I made another cup of tea, and settled to wait. Feeling more awake by now, I decided to flip through the guide to see when and who the next game was going to be.
Then, I heard the announcer say that the teams were coming on to the field. I sat up in my chair, my proud Canadian chest sticking out just a touch further. I closed the guide and found...much to my dismay...Argentina and France were the two teams coming on to the field.
Where was the Canadian team? I wondered. I checked the listing, one more time--making sure that I had the correct day and time. Now, I was wide awake.
As the teams did their pre-game posturing, I went into my office and got online to check out the World Cup game schedule. Only to find that it was indeed scheduled for Argentina and France to be playing. Canada had played the day before. MAN!!!!!
Well, I thought to myself, I was already awake, so might as well watch the game that was on. To my pleasant surprise, it was a great game. The teams were evenly matched, so I was able to really see how the game was played. I learned a lot about the rules, as I watched these two powerful teams battle it out.
A few days later, I actually got to see the last game Canada played. They fought bravely, and I was very proud of them, but unfortunately, they lost and were now out of the tournament. What I was most proud of, though, was the way the announcer kept pointing out how they played a clean game--they played a game respecting the rules, and used the other teams pension for breaking them to its advantage.
Well, since Canada is out, I have decided to put all of my newly-found rugby-fan energy to supporting 1st, the Scottish team (our families ancestors are Scottish), and second to them, the All Blacks.
I do enjoy watching the All Blacks the most. I recognize some of their players, now, and really think they are going to win it all. But, they are so powerful, and such a good team, that most of their games are one-sided, leaving me a little bored, to tell the truth. The Scottish team is a force to be reckoned with and are on a very close level with the other teams left in the competition.
So, now that I am paying extra on my satellite dish to watch the rugby and soccer channel, I plan to get to know the teams and understand the game much better before next years World Cup.
I will still support my Canadian team, but at least I will be able to make a more educated stand on whom else I will be supporting with my viewing hours.
Rugby is a tough game, and I must say that I am very impressed with how gentlemanly it is played. I am utterly impressed with all but one of the referees. And he looses my respect by being the only referee I have watched that did not call blatant penalties when they were right in front of him. It was as if he had an interest in the outcome of the game. That put me off a bit. I also witnessed my first "drama" fall. A fellow was hardly touched and fell down like he was dying. The ref went and chatted with him for a second and they guy smiled and got up. He played the rest of the game with just as much gusto as before, so obviously, he wasn't "dying".
So, there you have it, my new passion. It comes along with my beading, which has been so much fun. I now have 2 dress shops that are purchasing my designs and selling them in their stores. People tell me to sell them online, but I haven't really thought too much about it. This month is Breast Cancer Awareness month. My little sister is a breast cancer survivor, so in her honour, I have made some breast cancer charm bracelets to sell. $5.00 from each one is being donated to Canadian Breast Cancer.
So, that is what I am up to these days. Also, volunteering at The Salvation Army, but that is a subject for another blog. For now, my dear ones, know that God loves you, and so do I.
Jude
With my daughter in New Zealand, and there being so little we are able to share of that experience, I have taken the plunge and began to watch the Rugby World Cup games. At first, it was just so I could witness the New Zealand All Blacks do the Huka, but then I got hooked into the game.
You know how these obsessions begin; first it is just one, then another, and before you know it you are having supper 2 hours late because you didn't want to miss any of the game. Which, would be alright if you lived alone and did not have a husband waiting for his supper.
Next, you find yourself getting up at 6 am so you didn't miss the beginning of a game. This time, I can justify my unusual behaviour because it was the first Canadian game I was able to watch. I sat bleary-eyed and sipped my tea, waiting in half-asleep anticipation for the teams to come out and sing their national anthems. How proud I was feeling that my country's team would be singing 'O Canada' for all the world to hear.
The teams were about a half hour late, from what the listing on my satellite guide said, but I made another cup of tea, and settled to wait. Feeling more awake by now, I decided to flip through the guide to see when and who the next game was going to be.
Then, I heard the announcer say that the teams were coming on to the field. I sat up in my chair, my proud Canadian chest sticking out just a touch further. I closed the guide and found...much to my dismay...Argentina and France were the two teams coming on to the field.
Where was the Canadian team? I wondered. I checked the listing, one more time--making sure that I had the correct day and time. Now, I was wide awake.
As the teams did their pre-game posturing, I went into my office and got online to check out the World Cup game schedule. Only to find that it was indeed scheduled for Argentina and France to be playing. Canada had played the day before. MAN!!!!!
Well, I thought to myself, I was already awake, so might as well watch the game that was on. To my pleasant surprise, it was a great game. The teams were evenly matched, so I was able to really see how the game was played. I learned a lot about the rules, as I watched these two powerful teams battle it out.
A few days later, I actually got to see the last game Canada played. They fought bravely, and I was very proud of them, but unfortunately, they lost and were now out of the tournament. What I was most proud of, though, was the way the announcer kept pointing out how they played a clean game--they played a game respecting the rules, and used the other teams pension for breaking them to its advantage.
Well, since Canada is out, I have decided to put all of my newly-found rugby-fan energy to supporting 1st, the Scottish team (our families ancestors are Scottish), and second to them, the All Blacks.
I do enjoy watching the All Blacks the most. I recognize some of their players, now, and really think they are going to win it all. But, they are so powerful, and such a good team, that most of their games are one-sided, leaving me a little bored, to tell the truth. The Scottish team is a force to be reckoned with and are on a very close level with the other teams left in the competition.
So, now that I am paying extra on my satellite dish to watch the rugby and soccer channel, I plan to get to know the teams and understand the game much better before next years World Cup.
I will still support my Canadian team, but at least I will be able to make a more educated stand on whom else I will be supporting with my viewing hours.
Rugby is a tough game, and I must say that I am very impressed with how gentlemanly it is played. I am utterly impressed with all but one of the referees. And he looses my respect by being the only referee I have watched that did not call blatant penalties when they were right in front of him. It was as if he had an interest in the outcome of the game. That put me off a bit. I also witnessed my first "drama" fall. A fellow was hardly touched and fell down like he was dying. The ref went and chatted with him for a second and they guy smiled and got up. He played the rest of the game with just as much gusto as before, so obviously, he wasn't "dying".
So, there you have it, my new passion. It comes along with my beading, which has been so much fun. I now have 2 dress shops that are purchasing my designs and selling them in their stores. People tell me to sell them online, but I haven't really thought too much about it. This month is Breast Cancer Awareness month. My little sister is a breast cancer survivor, so in her honour, I have made some breast cancer charm bracelets to sell. $5.00 from each one is being donated to Canadian Breast Cancer.
So, that is what I am up to these days. Also, volunteering at The Salvation Army, but that is a subject for another blog. For now, my dear ones, know that God loves you, and so do I.
Jude
Friday, September 07, 2007
Mirrors
There is a woman that I know. She and I are alike in many ways, but in other ways, we rub one another terribly. She gets into certain moods. During these moods, I am constantly made to feel like I am being bullied. Being the product of an abusive life, I don't deal with bullies very well. Usually, I try to let my sense of humour carry me through. If I don't, I know that my Irish temper will make this unruly tongue of mine say things that I will later regret.
Tonight was one of those nights when our personalities did not mesh. After only five minutes in her company, I had been insulted and made to feel lessened. The evening only got worse from there. It was one of those times when a person feels damned if they do and damned if they don't. It seemed that everything I did, as well as what others were doing was wrong in this woman's opinion.
The Spirit in me kept telling me to allow God to be my champion. My Irish temper kept telling me to sock her one and knock her down a peg or two. Thankfully, the Spirit won that mental battle. The evening ended with no one in bruises.
On the ride home, however, I was seething. You know how you go over the things you should have said, would have said, if only the opportunity and courage(or stupidity) had presented itself? Well, I played several scenario over in my mind. Most had to do with something that she said at the end of the evening, which really brought me up short.
She had addressed all present and said that she "didn't mean to" be such a bully. While she has given this backhanded apology before, the words, "I didn't mean to" just struck me with shock this time. The question popped into my mind, “what does that mean...I didn't mean to?"
Unfortunately, this is where reason left me for a moment and I turned to the fellow behind me and asked, "what does this mean; I didn't mean to? If you did it, you obviously meant to."
The unfortunate part was that the fellow I addressed with my query was the woman's husband. Talk about wanting to stuff the words back into your mouth. However, unfortunately, I could not because the space was presently being occupied by my foot.
He, graciously, just shrugged his response and smiled at me. "O Lord, Please make me a mute!" I silently prayed.
"Too late", the voice in my head told me.
Since the rest of the evening did not go any better than the first half had, I left feeling rather beat up, and the joy which I should have felt when spending an evening in the company of Christian friends, praising and worshiping in song, was nowhere to be found. What I did leave with was thoughts of giving up and quitting the group that I so dearly loved. I figured that was the only way that I could prevent myself from loosing it and giving this woman a piece of my mind.
One thought, once it came to me, though, niggled at my mind. I thought, "This woman does not handle positions of authority very well." Then I remembered myself as a boss in a Thrift Store. I was just as demanding, as set on perfection (according to my personal standard) as this woman was in her leadership role. God, once again, had set a mirror up before me.
Never, my friends, if you cherish your blissful ignorance, ask God to help you see where you have erred. Because, believe me, He will!
Now, I not only felt mortified at the revelation, I felt as if I hadn't handled the evening with the amount of grace which God expected me to.
A Double whammy! Oh, that darn mirror! It wasn't the first time that He had held it in front of my unsuspecting face. All I can tell you for sure is that each time, I have been changed for the better...sometimes quite painfully so...but most times...after a bit of prayer and work on my part...I have felt completely blessed.
There are, of course, those times when I choose to decide that the mirror is lying to me, and in my unwillingness, I decide to hold off on whatever change it was pointing out needs to be taken.
I hope that the new revelation will help me to find just a bit more grace for this woman, and will help me to remain in the activity, which means so much to me. If not, I know now how my rubber shoe tastes, maybe that might just be a deterrent to my unruly tongue.
I still am a bit bugged about the "I didn't mean to". Mostly because I realize there is no excuse for bad behaviour. In addition, an apology with an out clause is really no apology at all. Perhaps, if the woman had stopped with "I'm sorry,” I would have felt more gracious towards her—who knows. I could not help but wonder how many trillions of times I had apologized for my bad behaviour with an out clause included.
So, my dear ones, once again, I need your prayers. Only with His help, will I be able to let this new offense go as--as my father used to say--"like water off a duck.” Only through fervent prayer will I be able to learn from this mirror and become one step closer to the person He created me to be.
I will remember, when getting ticked off at someone else's bad behaviour, that I too have had my charming moments, just as they do. It is one of those log/splinter lessons.
Be blessed, my sweets, know that God loves you...and He loves me, even when I screw up big time!
Tonight was one of those nights when our personalities did not mesh. After only five minutes in her company, I had been insulted and made to feel lessened. The evening only got worse from there. It was one of those times when a person feels damned if they do and damned if they don't. It seemed that everything I did, as well as what others were doing was wrong in this woman's opinion.
The Spirit in me kept telling me to allow God to be my champion. My Irish temper kept telling me to sock her one and knock her down a peg or two. Thankfully, the Spirit won that mental battle. The evening ended with no one in bruises.
On the ride home, however, I was seething. You know how you go over the things you should have said, would have said, if only the opportunity and courage(or stupidity) had presented itself? Well, I played several scenario over in my mind. Most had to do with something that she said at the end of the evening, which really brought me up short.
She had addressed all present and said that she "didn't mean to" be such a bully. While she has given this backhanded apology before, the words, "I didn't mean to" just struck me with shock this time. The question popped into my mind, “what does that mean...I didn't mean to?"
Unfortunately, this is where reason left me for a moment and I turned to the fellow behind me and asked, "what does this mean; I didn't mean to? If you did it, you obviously meant to."
The unfortunate part was that the fellow I addressed with my query was the woman's husband. Talk about wanting to stuff the words back into your mouth. However, unfortunately, I could not because the space was presently being occupied by my foot.
He, graciously, just shrugged his response and smiled at me. "O Lord, Please make me a mute!" I silently prayed.
"Too late", the voice in my head told me.
Since the rest of the evening did not go any better than the first half had, I left feeling rather beat up, and the joy which I should have felt when spending an evening in the company of Christian friends, praising and worshiping in song, was nowhere to be found. What I did leave with was thoughts of giving up and quitting the group that I so dearly loved. I figured that was the only way that I could prevent myself from loosing it and giving this woman a piece of my mind.
One thought, once it came to me, though, niggled at my mind. I thought, "This woman does not handle positions of authority very well." Then I remembered myself as a boss in a Thrift Store. I was just as demanding, as set on perfection (according to my personal standard) as this woman was in her leadership role. God, once again, had set a mirror up before me.
Never, my friends, if you cherish your blissful ignorance, ask God to help you see where you have erred. Because, believe me, He will!
Now, I not only felt mortified at the revelation, I felt as if I hadn't handled the evening with the amount of grace which God expected me to.
A Double whammy! Oh, that darn mirror! It wasn't the first time that He had held it in front of my unsuspecting face. All I can tell you for sure is that each time, I have been changed for the better...sometimes quite painfully so...but most times...after a bit of prayer and work on my part...I have felt completely blessed.
There are, of course, those times when I choose to decide that the mirror is lying to me, and in my unwillingness, I decide to hold off on whatever change it was pointing out needs to be taken.
I hope that the new revelation will help me to find just a bit more grace for this woman, and will help me to remain in the activity, which means so much to me. If not, I know now how my rubber shoe tastes, maybe that might just be a deterrent to my unruly tongue.
I still am a bit bugged about the "I didn't mean to". Mostly because I realize there is no excuse for bad behaviour. In addition, an apology with an out clause is really no apology at all. Perhaps, if the woman had stopped with "I'm sorry,” I would have felt more gracious towards her—who knows. I could not help but wonder how many trillions of times I had apologized for my bad behaviour with an out clause included.
So, my dear ones, once again, I need your prayers. Only with His help, will I be able to let this new offense go as--as my father used to say--"like water off a duck.” Only through fervent prayer will I be able to learn from this mirror and become one step closer to the person He created me to be.
I will remember, when getting ticked off at someone else's bad behaviour, that I too have had my charming moments, just as they do. It is one of those log/splinter lessons.
Be blessed, my sweets, know that God loves you...and He loves me, even when I screw up big time!
Saturday, September 01, 2007
The Journey
Have you ever heard someone repeat a saying, until it begins to sound like a mantra, and wonder if they are trying to convince you, or themselves? Through the years, I have repeated the words, "God's timing is perfect", in just such a fashion.(I often wear a bracelet with the word, "Kairos" on it. Which means, basically, "God's timing"). All the while, I have been working on learning patience, trust, and a deeper faith than the cursory one that predominates my life.
My daughter is getting married in December. While this occasion fills me with great joy, it also has plummeted me into a deep mourning. What I am facing is not the usual things that a mother goes through when her daughter is becoming a married lady and knowing that she will be facing many of the same married-woman struggles that you have gone through. What I am facing is that God has taken her and placed her on the other side of the world. As a married woman, she will be remaining in her new spouse's homeland for the foreseeable future. What I am experiencing is a mourning which comes with drastic change. You see, even though I know that God loves me and Heather and is in control, my humanness is selfish and wants Him to arrange things so that they are more comfortable for me. To me, that is to have my children close. Living in Northwestern Ontario, there is just no jobs on our small town for neither my chef sons, nor my heart-for-souls, Salvation Army daughter.
It was hard for me when she was in Toronto, but I at least had the freedom to hop in the car and travel there for a visit. With her new location, that freedom is beyond what I can afford, and should probably physically do.
So, I keep reminding myself that God is in control, and that His timing is perfect. Then, today, I happened on a blog by Pastor Mike Trimble entitled "The Journey".http://miketrimble.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/06/index.html He talks about change and timing. His blog reminded me of the words Philippians;
"If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care-- then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what." (Philippians 2:1-6 MSG)
In fact, in my desiring God to do things my way; to arrange things so that they are more comfortable for me...like having Heather on this continent so I can easily visit her...am I not pushing my way to the front? In my mourning, am I not being in disagreement with my daughter, who has whole-heartedly accepted His plan for her life; not to mention being in disagreement with Him as He has arranged things? Mostly, though, I realized that I was NOT forgetting myself, putting myself aside, nor helping anyone, most especially Heather and Jono, get ahead.
To "get ahead" we must first be in His plan. Why is it so easy to except His plan for my life, yet howl to the sky when His plan is not what I would like for my children?
After Pastor Mike talks about the journey, he hits me with his whammy, "...no matter what." he reminds me. I remembered, years ago now, when I as a mother, gave my daughter over to God's will...no matter what. Those were the exact words I used. While at the time, the no matter what was whether He allowed her to live or took her home, it was still "no matter what." Lesson: When we make a covenant with God, we have to be prepared for His "no matter what" and not one we want to set in place. Contracts with God do not have small print or hidden codicels. He takes us at our word,and with the full knowledge of our heart.
I now need to recommit to that contract, deal, agreement--whatever you want to call it. I now need to let my daughter go, once again. Through the years, I had not realized that I had been taking her back, one bit at a time. What I was doing, I am sure, is robbing her of some of the joy she should have felt in her obedience to Him. All the while, knowing how her plans upset me, dampened her verve for the work He was calling her to do. For this, I am deeply sorry. God knows that I am still a work in progress, and thankfully, He never gives up. Like the song; "Oh no, you never let go; through the calm and through the storm; Oh no, Lord, you never let go of me!"
So, my dear loved ones, this blog is a confession of yet another sin of selfishness and weakness. Thankfully, I know from where my help comes! I also know that He knew from the beginning how very painful these lessons were going to be for me, and has already covered me with His grace and forgiveness...as well as His strength and courage to overcome. Knowing how very intimately He understands me gives me a joy that erases all of the selfish hurt. I am truly blessed to have my daughter not only serving Him, but being willing to go and do whatever He demands of her. Once again, I am witnessed to by her faith walk. (I say that a lot, don't I?)
So, when life seems to move those you love to the other side of the world..either geographically or in any other way, remember that God is in control and He really does know what He is doing. I know...who am I trying to convince you? Or myself?
My daughter is getting married in December. While this occasion fills me with great joy, it also has plummeted me into a deep mourning. What I am facing is not the usual things that a mother goes through when her daughter is becoming a married lady and knowing that she will be facing many of the same married-woman struggles that you have gone through. What I am facing is that God has taken her and placed her on the other side of the world. As a married woman, she will be remaining in her new spouse's homeland for the foreseeable future. What I am experiencing is a mourning which comes with drastic change. You see, even though I know that God loves me and Heather and is in control, my humanness is selfish and wants Him to arrange things so that they are more comfortable for me. To me, that is to have my children close. Living in Northwestern Ontario, there is just no jobs on our small town for neither my chef sons, nor my heart-for-souls, Salvation Army daughter.
It was hard for me when she was in Toronto, but I at least had the freedom to hop in the car and travel there for a visit. With her new location, that freedom is beyond what I can afford, and should probably physically do.
So, I keep reminding myself that God is in control, and that His timing is perfect. Then, today, I happened on a blog by Pastor Mike Trimble entitled "The Journey".http://miketrimble.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/06/index.html He talks about change and timing. His blog reminded me of the words Philippians;
"If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care-- then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what." (Philippians 2:1-6 MSG)
In fact, in my desiring God to do things my way; to arrange things so that they are more comfortable for me...like having Heather on this continent so I can easily visit her...am I not pushing my way to the front? In my mourning, am I not being in disagreement with my daughter, who has whole-heartedly accepted His plan for her life; not to mention being in disagreement with Him as He has arranged things? Mostly, though, I realized that I was NOT forgetting myself, putting myself aside, nor helping anyone, most especially Heather and Jono, get ahead.
To "get ahead" we must first be in His plan. Why is it so easy to except His plan for my life, yet howl to the sky when His plan is not what I would like for my children?
After Pastor Mike talks about the journey, he hits me with his whammy, "...no matter what." he reminds me. I remembered, years ago now, when I as a mother, gave my daughter over to God's will...no matter what. Those were the exact words I used. While at the time, the no matter what was whether He allowed her to live or took her home, it was still "no matter what." Lesson: When we make a covenant with God, we have to be prepared for His "no matter what" and not one we want to set in place. Contracts with God do not have small print or hidden codicels. He takes us at our word,and with the full knowledge of our heart.
I now need to recommit to that contract, deal, agreement--whatever you want to call it. I now need to let my daughter go, once again. Through the years, I had not realized that I had been taking her back, one bit at a time. What I was doing, I am sure, is robbing her of some of the joy she should have felt in her obedience to Him. All the while, knowing how her plans upset me, dampened her verve for the work He was calling her to do. For this, I am deeply sorry. God knows that I am still a work in progress, and thankfully, He never gives up. Like the song; "Oh no, you never let go; through the calm and through the storm; Oh no, Lord, you never let go of me!"
So, my dear loved ones, this blog is a confession of yet another sin of selfishness and weakness. Thankfully, I know from where my help comes! I also know that He knew from the beginning how very painful these lessons were going to be for me, and has already covered me with His grace and forgiveness...as well as His strength and courage to overcome. Knowing how very intimately He understands me gives me a joy that erases all of the selfish hurt. I am truly blessed to have my daughter not only serving Him, but being willing to go and do whatever He demands of her. Once again, I am witnessed to by her faith walk. (I say that a lot, don't I?)
So, when life seems to move those you love to the other side of the world..either geographically or in any other way, remember that God is in control and He really does know what He is doing. I know...who am I trying to convince you? Or myself?
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Loosing Dear Friends
Sometimes, we loose touch with dear friends. It is a sad fact of living in a time of the world when people move about more than they used to. We form fast friendships that withstand the test of time, though only meeting through the odd card or visit as the years pass. Today, I found out that I lost just such a dear friends. They left about this time last year, and I just now found out about it. The usual Christmas and birthday cards were sent. I never thought much of the fact that I did not receive one from them, as sometimes we missed a year or two, but eventually, would think of each other and send a letter or card, again or phone or even drop in for a visit.
The family I am refering to are the Hill's; Larry, Maureen, Rebecca, and Greg. Rebecca telephoned me tonight to inform me that both of her parents had passed away. Maureen was in the middle of chemo-therapy when they moved to Devlin; what seems like an awful lot of years ago, now. I remember meeting her. She had a bandana on and told me that she had lost her hair. With that said, she whipped off the scarf and showed me. It is her sense of humour that attracted me to her. Nothing seemed to rattle her to the point where she lost that sense of humour.
Maureen succumbed to cancer on May 23, 2006. A few short weeks later, Larry was killed in an accident. His motorcycle was hit by a pickup truck. (the man was charged)
In such a short time, Rebecca and Greg lost both of their parents. No wonder it took her a year to finally be able to call me and let me know. She told me that she had only called a few people. She just could not handle saying the words, "both of my parents are dead." How I remember the difficulty of just breathing in and out when my own parents died, and I had a few years between the losses.
My heart is quite broken over it. Maureen and Larry were very special people, and very special to me. Most especially, Maureen. Since she had cancer when I met her, and for the few years they lived nearby, we shared a lot about our fears, desires, faith, and joys; she has always stood, for me, the perfect example of courage. She never complained, even though I knew she had some very ill and painful days. She just took each day and rejoiced in the gift of it.
Even talking of her now, I can see her radiant smile and hear her laughter.
It all reminds me of how very precious the people in my life are, and how very fragile life really is. My life is much richer because of the blessing of this family in my life. Both Larry and Maureen will live on in my heart. The memory of their loving, teasing relationship will always bring a smile to my lips and a tear to my eye, as I will miss knowing that they are there, with a room, when I am travelling in their direction.
As I sat in my office, and finally let the tears flow, I was taken by a thought of complete joy; Those two loved each other, like no other couple I have ever met. What awesome grace that they did not have to wait long to be together again. Larry always seemed like he would be quite lost without Maureen as his anchor. Maureen always told me that Larry always gave her a reason to smile. So, while I am selfishly mourning them, I am also rejoicing in the thought that they are together. No doubt, Larry has a few jokes to play on the folks in Heaven, and is bringing a smile to many a celestial lip.
So, in closing this note, I want to remind you of how very fragile life is. How very short your time may be to let those around you know how much you love them. How very little time we have to "get our house in order" and how very important it is to keep it that way. Live each day as if it will be your last. Don't let an opportunity to love, help, or improve pass you by.
Love on you all, Jude
The family I am refering to are the Hill's; Larry, Maureen, Rebecca, and Greg. Rebecca telephoned me tonight to inform me that both of her parents had passed away. Maureen was in the middle of chemo-therapy when they moved to Devlin; what seems like an awful lot of years ago, now. I remember meeting her. She had a bandana on and told me that she had lost her hair. With that said, she whipped off the scarf and showed me. It is her sense of humour that attracted me to her. Nothing seemed to rattle her to the point where she lost that sense of humour.
Maureen succumbed to cancer on May 23, 2006. A few short weeks later, Larry was killed in an accident. His motorcycle was hit by a pickup truck. (the man was charged)
In such a short time, Rebecca and Greg lost both of their parents. No wonder it took her a year to finally be able to call me and let me know. She told me that she had only called a few people. She just could not handle saying the words, "both of my parents are dead." How I remember the difficulty of just breathing in and out when my own parents died, and I had a few years between the losses.
My heart is quite broken over it. Maureen and Larry were very special people, and very special to me. Most especially, Maureen. Since she had cancer when I met her, and for the few years they lived nearby, we shared a lot about our fears, desires, faith, and joys; she has always stood, for me, the perfect example of courage. She never complained, even though I knew she had some very ill and painful days. She just took each day and rejoiced in the gift of it.
Even talking of her now, I can see her radiant smile and hear her laughter.
It all reminds me of how very precious the people in my life are, and how very fragile life really is. My life is much richer because of the blessing of this family in my life. Both Larry and Maureen will live on in my heart. The memory of their loving, teasing relationship will always bring a smile to my lips and a tear to my eye, as I will miss knowing that they are there, with a room, when I am travelling in their direction.
As I sat in my office, and finally let the tears flow, I was taken by a thought of complete joy; Those two loved each other, like no other couple I have ever met. What awesome grace that they did not have to wait long to be together again. Larry always seemed like he would be quite lost without Maureen as his anchor. Maureen always told me that Larry always gave her a reason to smile. So, while I am selfishly mourning them, I am also rejoicing in the thought that they are together. No doubt, Larry has a few jokes to play on the folks in Heaven, and is bringing a smile to many a celestial lip.
So, in closing this note, I want to remind you of how very fragile life is. How very short your time may be to let those around you know how much you love them. How very little time we have to "get our house in order" and how very important it is to keep it that way. Live each day as if it will be your last. Don't let an opportunity to love, help, or improve pass you by.
Love on you all, Jude
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Growing Up?
When our children are young, we tend to forget that they are living a life attached to ours. It is not until they become teenagers that we truly realize that they are individuals that are completely separate from the narrow world of our personal life.
We tend to forget or ignore that they are having experiences--bad and good--and having to deal with them, learn from them, and suffer through them.
Not that we are completely oblivious to them, more that our lives seem so huge that our children are more of an aside to the drama of our struggle to live each day and come through it as unscathed as possible.
Now that my children are adults, and I am a grandmother, I think back to the many times when my struggle was so overwhelming that my children were merely swept along in the title-wave of it all.
Understanding this, has given me an overwhelming desire to converse with my children about their childhoods. I want to be able to see it from their point of view. Knowing how my childhood was; remembered often quite differently from the view-point of my 6 siblings; I wonder how the muddle of our life, in those years, looked from their perspective.
Their view helps me to put things into perspective. It helps me to realize and confront issues that need to be confronted. It opens me to learning and growing into a better person. Not that I can go back and fix that which I broke, but I can understand, apologize where needed, and move foreword with my children in a much healthier relationship.
Now, I only need the courage to ask, and the grace to truly listen with a God heart, and not with the old defensive mechanisms kicking in.
Moving foreword, changing and growing is often painful and difficult. But, oh what joy is yours when you win the battle over some of these demons from the past.
Be blessed, and be a blessing!
Jude
We tend to forget or ignore that they are having experiences--bad and good--and having to deal with them, learn from them, and suffer through them.
Not that we are completely oblivious to them, more that our lives seem so huge that our children are more of an aside to the drama of our struggle to live each day and come through it as unscathed as possible.
Now that my children are adults, and I am a grandmother, I think back to the many times when my struggle was so overwhelming that my children were merely swept along in the title-wave of it all.
Understanding this, has given me an overwhelming desire to converse with my children about their childhoods. I want to be able to see it from their point of view. Knowing how my childhood was; remembered often quite differently from the view-point of my 6 siblings; I wonder how the muddle of our life, in those years, looked from their perspective.
Their view helps me to put things into perspective. It helps me to realize and confront issues that need to be confronted. It opens me to learning and growing into a better person. Not that I can go back and fix that which I broke, but I can understand, apologize where needed, and move foreword with my children in a much healthier relationship.
Now, I only need the courage to ask, and the grace to truly listen with a God heart, and not with the old defensive mechanisms kicking in.
Moving foreword, changing and growing is often painful and difficult. But, oh what joy is yours when you win the battle over some of these demons from the past.
Be blessed, and be a blessing!
Jude
Friday, April 06, 2007
Characters
I don't know why my lessons on character development always effect me so powerfully. Maybe it is because I am always on the hunt to figure out exactly who I am. Maybe, it is because I am trying to figure out why I am the way I am. All I know is that every time my courses get to this point, I am overcome with the weight of creating these ficticious beings.
Inside every fiction writer, I am sure, is some desire to recreate themselves through their characters. We can right wrongs which we have no power over changing in real life. We can become--somehow a better person than we truly are. We can be the hero; or the villian, and get away with all of our schemes and deceptions. There is no accountability for our actions, except what we choose to include in the story.
In my writing, I seen to have a tendecy to delve the deepest into the victim characters. I know what makes them tick. I know how they suffer for slights that stronger characters seem to be unaware of. They are often, in some part, mirror images of myself and my life experience.
That being said, I also can identify with many of my strong hero types. In my life I have had experience in facing seeminly unsermountable obstacles, and know what it feels like to come out triumphant on the other side.
Today, I shared with one of my students, an outline and character cast for a novel I am working on. Just explaining the action from my character placement development sheet, I could see that she was completely drawn into the characters as I explained them as well as the story as the synopsis was shared.
This gave me the shove I needed to get on with the writing process. I have obviuosly researched and developed the thing as far as I can go until I am actually writing it.
So, That is what I am going to begin doing, tomorrow. After over 2 years of research and development, I am going to take the brave step of actually writing the story.
Keep me in your prayers. It will be my first novel, as I am basically a short story writer. This story, however, can not be done any justice in short story form.
I also feel a pressing to write a series of short stories about my mother, and things she shared with me about her life. Have you ever had something that you are trying to ignor because you know it will be a hard, painful task, but it just won't leave you in peace? Well, this niggling thing is like that. I can hear my mother's voice in my ear saying, "I can tell you, because I know you will understand."
Well, I did, and do understand. But more than that, I want to tell her story so that someone out there, who has faced the same kinds of hurt will be able to say, "Someone understands."
So, keep me in your prayers for that one, as well. The important thing is that I figure out how to honour my mother's memory and memories, while presenting them as works of fiction. Hmmmmmm I am really not that good, so will need all the prayer support I can get.
God honoured me by allowing me to hear and see my mother from His perspective. My desire is to honour Him by presenting what I heard in a way that is within His design.
As I tell my students, "everyone has a story." All it takes is a writer to care enough to listen and courage enough to write it.
Be Blessed, my dear ones. It is Good Friday, today. I finally understand why it is called Good Friday. Took me years to figure that out. Now I know that it is because of God's ultimate goodness in sacrificing Himself so that we might have a way out from under our sin.
I praise His name!
Have a wonderful Easter full of joy and love.
Jude
Inside every fiction writer, I am sure, is some desire to recreate themselves through their characters. We can right wrongs which we have no power over changing in real life. We can become--somehow a better person than we truly are. We can be the hero; or the villian, and get away with all of our schemes and deceptions. There is no accountability for our actions, except what we choose to include in the story.
In my writing, I seen to have a tendecy to delve the deepest into the victim characters. I know what makes them tick. I know how they suffer for slights that stronger characters seem to be unaware of. They are often, in some part, mirror images of myself and my life experience.
That being said, I also can identify with many of my strong hero types. In my life I have had experience in facing seeminly unsermountable obstacles, and know what it feels like to come out triumphant on the other side.
Today, I shared with one of my students, an outline and character cast for a novel I am working on. Just explaining the action from my character placement development sheet, I could see that she was completely drawn into the characters as I explained them as well as the story as the synopsis was shared.
This gave me the shove I needed to get on with the writing process. I have obviuosly researched and developed the thing as far as I can go until I am actually writing it.
So, That is what I am going to begin doing, tomorrow. After over 2 years of research and development, I am going to take the brave step of actually writing the story.
Keep me in your prayers. It will be my first novel, as I am basically a short story writer. This story, however, can not be done any justice in short story form.
I also feel a pressing to write a series of short stories about my mother, and things she shared with me about her life. Have you ever had something that you are trying to ignor because you know it will be a hard, painful task, but it just won't leave you in peace? Well, this niggling thing is like that. I can hear my mother's voice in my ear saying, "I can tell you, because I know you will understand."
Well, I did, and do understand. But more than that, I want to tell her story so that someone out there, who has faced the same kinds of hurt will be able to say, "Someone understands."
So, keep me in your prayers for that one, as well. The important thing is that I figure out how to honour my mother's memory and memories, while presenting them as works of fiction. Hmmmmmm I am really not that good, so will need all the prayer support I can get.
God honoured me by allowing me to hear and see my mother from His perspective. My desire is to honour Him by presenting what I heard in a way that is within His design.
As I tell my students, "everyone has a story." All it takes is a writer to care enough to listen and courage enough to write it.
Be Blessed, my dear ones. It is Good Friday, today. I finally understand why it is called Good Friday. Took me years to figure that out. Now I know that it is because of God's ultimate goodness in sacrificing Himself so that we might have a way out from under our sin.
I praise His name!
Have a wonderful Easter full of joy and love.
Jude
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Are We There Yet?
Have you ever found yourself wondering when your "life" is going to begin? I have. What I did not realize, for many years, was that while I was thinking that I needed something, someone or some occurance to come along before I could really start living, my life was busy passing me by.
The off-throw of this kind of mentallity is that not only was life passing me by, people and occurances were also passing by without my appreciating them for the blessings that they were. There are some, I know, that passed by completely unnoticed.
Now that God has blessedly given me a good reality check, I mourn the loss of those years wasted in the foolish quest of what I believed to be a part of the magic "happy" formula.
One of the things I regret the most is that I did not completely treasure each and every moment of my children's young lives. When I think back on how many times one or the other of them tried to share something with me, and I did not take the time to listen, my heart breaks. Now, with them all grown and going about their own business, I long for them to want to talk to me.
Just as God's timing is not our timing, so our timing is not the timing of others. Life passes us by while we are ignorantly unaware.
When I am tempted to thrash myself with condemnation, God always reminds me of the things that I did not allow to be lost in my blind pursuit of happiness. While many moments with my children were lost, there are still precious many that I have to treasure. For this, I know I have only God's grace to thank. He constantly blesses me, in spite of myself.
Today, I received an email from my daughter's hostess in New Zealand. She talked about how her elderly mother-in-law was diagnosed with only weeks to life. That was almost a year ago. It reminded me how very relivant time was. Man goes about his foolish way; but the One who designed and created the universe is the only one who really has any control over time. Only He decides who comes and who goes, in this old world.
That being said, I am so extremely grateful to Him for the people my children have grown up to be. My oldest son is now a father. It is my heartfelt prayer that he remember the times that I was too busy or distracted to pay proper attention to him, and take that life-lesson to heart making him a far better parent than any he suffered.
Treasure every moment, my dear ones. Do not waste a single moment, not on regret or recrimination. God knows your heart. He knows your weaknesses, and He knows your strengths. Take time to repent, and as He instructs, "go and sin no more."
God loves you. Yes, even you; just the way you are!
Jude
The off-throw of this kind of mentallity is that not only was life passing me by, people and occurances were also passing by without my appreciating them for the blessings that they were. There are some, I know, that passed by completely unnoticed.
Now that God has blessedly given me a good reality check, I mourn the loss of those years wasted in the foolish quest of what I believed to be a part of the magic "happy" formula.
One of the things I regret the most is that I did not completely treasure each and every moment of my children's young lives. When I think back on how many times one or the other of them tried to share something with me, and I did not take the time to listen, my heart breaks. Now, with them all grown and going about their own business, I long for them to want to talk to me.
Just as God's timing is not our timing, so our timing is not the timing of others. Life passes us by while we are ignorantly unaware.
When I am tempted to thrash myself with condemnation, God always reminds me of the things that I did not allow to be lost in my blind pursuit of happiness. While many moments with my children were lost, there are still precious many that I have to treasure. For this, I know I have only God's grace to thank. He constantly blesses me, in spite of myself.
Today, I received an email from my daughter's hostess in New Zealand. She talked about how her elderly mother-in-law was diagnosed with only weeks to life. That was almost a year ago. It reminded me how very relivant time was. Man goes about his foolish way; but the One who designed and created the universe is the only one who really has any control over time. Only He decides who comes and who goes, in this old world.
That being said, I am so extremely grateful to Him for the people my children have grown up to be. My oldest son is now a father. It is my heartfelt prayer that he remember the times that I was too busy or distracted to pay proper attention to him, and take that life-lesson to heart making him a far better parent than any he suffered.
Treasure every moment, my dear ones. Do not waste a single moment, not on regret or recrimination. God knows your heart. He knows your weaknesses, and He knows your strengths. Take time to repent, and as He instructs, "go and sin no more."
God loves you. Yes, even you; just the way you are!
Jude
Monday, March 12, 2007
The Taxman Commeth
It seems odd to me to not have a T-4 slip to present to the accountant when he comes to do our taxes, later today. There have been very few years when I have had no taxable income to report. I could get to like this; except for the being poor part. ha ha
It has been a year of struggling to put a Creative Writing Consultant's business together with some small successes, a lot of learning, a little teaching, and lots of creative and organizational work (which just happens to be my specialty). Now, the website is up and running, (www.awriterstoolbox.com) and affiliates have been and continue to be added. The lessons are almost all done the creation phase, and a few have actually been accessed.
What I am now finding is the benifits of networking with other writing-based web sites and web people. This networking is something I had not realized and it is such a wonderful bonus to the hours and hours of hard work.
This semester, I have the pleasure of teaching a person who is rather influential in the education organizations of our district. Through him, I have learned a lot about what works as a teacher and what does not. He is always encouraging and we have some wonderful talks about his WIP (work-in-progress) and writing in general. Another great joy--to share what I love so much with others who are hungry to learn about it.
When I am tempted to get discouraged; start thinking of the hundreds of hours I have already put into lesson creation, web creation, research, etc., I have decided to concentrate, instead, on the works of fiction that are now in print, on bookstore shelves, that have my fingerprints on them in small or significant ways. Then, I realize that even though I am not becoming a rich and famous author in a quick hurry, I am impacting others with my knowledge and skill. That, I feel, may just be reward enough.
As in all things that God leads me to, my part may be very small, and seem insignificant, when viewed on its own. However, when I step back and look at the larger picture, I can see that my part was important and necessary to make the whole thing come together to God's plan.
Daily, I am thankful that He helps me to realize my worth and value as a person. So, even though I do not have my first million dollars in book sales to report to the tax man, the Man who does my final audit knows that my value is counted in more than dollar bills. Thankfully, through His love and support, I am able to recognize that, as well.
Be blessed, my dear ones. Know that your true value is in the respect, love, appreciation and memories that others have for you. Your value is in Christ Jesus, through whom all these good things come.
Till next time, Jude
It has been a year of struggling to put a Creative Writing Consultant's business together with some small successes, a lot of learning, a little teaching, and lots of creative and organizational work (which just happens to be my specialty). Now, the website is up and running, (www.awriterstoolbox.com) and affiliates have been and continue to be added. The lessons are almost all done the creation phase, and a few have actually been accessed.
What I am now finding is the benifits of networking with other writing-based web sites and web people. This networking is something I had not realized and it is such a wonderful bonus to the hours and hours of hard work.
This semester, I have the pleasure of teaching a person who is rather influential in the education organizations of our district. Through him, I have learned a lot about what works as a teacher and what does not. He is always encouraging and we have some wonderful talks about his WIP (work-in-progress) and writing in general. Another great joy--to share what I love so much with others who are hungry to learn about it.
When I am tempted to get discouraged; start thinking of the hundreds of hours I have already put into lesson creation, web creation, research, etc., I have decided to concentrate, instead, on the works of fiction that are now in print, on bookstore shelves, that have my fingerprints on them in small or significant ways. Then, I realize that even though I am not becoming a rich and famous author in a quick hurry, I am impacting others with my knowledge and skill. That, I feel, may just be reward enough.
As in all things that God leads me to, my part may be very small, and seem insignificant, when viewed on its own. However, when I step back and look at the larger picture, I can see that my part was important and necessary to make the whole thing come together to God's plan.
Daily, I am thankful that He helps me to realize my worth and value as a person. So, even though I do not have my first million dollars in book sales to report to the tax man, the Man who does my final audit knows that my value is counted in more than dollar bills. Thankfully, through His love and support, I am able to recognize that, as well.
Be blessed, my dear ones. Know that your true value is in the respect, love, appreciation and memories that others have for you. Your value is in Christ Jesus, through whom all these good things come.
Till next time, Jude
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Becoming Professional
I never much thought about being a writer as my profession. It is more something that chose me, than something deliberate that I set out to achieve. In the last several months, I have been in the company of, met both in person and online, several writers which fall into both the professional and non-professional category. With these encounters has come the revelation that I am, indeed, numbered amongst the list of professional writers.
Some of the criteria, so I have come to learn, is 1)having an accredited education in the craft of writing 2)having won acclimation for a piece or pieces of work 3)having had something published and 4)having writing as my sole occupation
So, there you have it, me in a nutshell. My entire day is about writing. While I eat, care for my house and husband, and even while I sleep, I am either stopping to jot notes in my writer's journal, stopping to get to the computer, or thinking out story ideas, or my WIP (work in progress). I teach fiction writing to adults at our high school, mentor, edit, brainstorm, fact check and encourage many other professional writers, as well as beginners, trying to get it all figured out.
Writing is my release, my occupation, my therapy, my joy. Being me...a multitasker to the extreme, I am working on two novels, at least 6 short stories, creating several courses to be offered through my website www.awriterstoolbox.com and trying to read everything I can get my hands on that pertains to writing. This last, including as many fiction classics as I can find. Learning from the masters, is always the best course.
Little did I know, when I decided to take a few writing courses, where it would all lead. I am very fortunate. While I waited until I was in my 50's to get things figured out, I am so very grateful that I finally have found what I want to do with my life, and had the courage to go for it.
It is my prayer that you figure it out...long before you are an old gal like me, and have the courage to leave whatever you are doing and move in the direction of your passion, your joy, your therapy, your release from the hum-drum life.
Be blessed, Know that God loves you, and so do I!
Some of the criteria, so I have come to learn, is 1)having an accredited education in the craft of writing 2)having won acclimation for a piece or pieces of work 3)having had something published and 4)having writing as my sole occupation
So, there you have it, me in a nutshell. My entire day is about writing. While I eat, care for my house and husband, and even while I sleep, I am either stopping to jot notes in my writer's journal, stopping to get to the computer, or thinking out story ideas, or my WIP (work in progress). I teach fiction writing to adults at our high school, mentor, edit, brainstorm, fact check and encourage many other professional writers, as well as beginners, trying to get it all figured out.
Writing is my release, my occupation, my therapy, my joy. Being me...a multitasker to the extreme, I am working on two novels, at least 6 short stories, creating several courses to be offered through my website www.awriterstoolbox.com and trying to read everything I can get my hands on that pertains to writing. This last, including as many fiction classics as I can find. Learning from the masters, is always the best course.
Little did I know, when I decided to take a few writing courses, where it would all lead. I am very fortunate. While I waited until I was in my 50's to get things figured out, I am so very grateful that I finally have found what I want to do with my life, and had the courage to go for it.
It is my prayer that you figure it out...long before you are an old gal like me, and have the courage to leave whatever you are doing and move in the direction of your passion, your joy, your therapy, your release from the hum-drum life.
Be blessed, Know that God loves you, and so do I!
Monday, January 01, 2007
I am a blogger
Yes, it is true, I am a blogger. One of the millions of people all around the world, who think that someone, somewhere, might actually be interested in something that I have to say. Hmmm
I don't blog as faithfully as some others. Mostly, just when the fancy hits me, will I sit down and jot it in my blog. There are few people who actually read what I write, so knowing this gives me the freedom to be bold and honest in what I share.
Have you ever done a blog search? Me neither. However, I have wondered about doing it. What would I find on my subjects of choice? Would my Christian search yeild that one bit of wisdom that would make everything fall into place? Would my writing search show me a way to prevent spending hour after hour at this contraption trying to create the great Canadian novel?
What I do know I will find, with certainty, is people who, just like me, long to feel that they have a voice. The din of this world drowns out the voices of the meek. Much like my large family, the ones who did not aggressively voice themselves were given no voice.
Going into this new year, I desire to assure you, you do have a voice. God hears every word you utter. He hears the crying of your heart...the unspoken words, as well. You do have a voice.
Not only does He hear you, He cares about what you are saying, and listens intently. For myself, I would rather know that He is listening than any other ear on the face of the earth. Everything He hears is filtered through his heart of love.
So, my bold blogger friends -- and those of you who only have a voice in this place, know that God is listening, caring, and taking action on your behalf. You have a voice.
Be blessed with the assurance that you are never alone. God is always with you. You are also not alone on this contraption. We bloggers are right by your side, exercising our voices. Some of us will take the time to search the web for bloggers just like us.
That is one of my New Year's resolutions. To search the blogs and get in touch with some people who have the same passions as I do.
Until then, keep talking. God is listening. You have a voice.
Love in Christ, Jude
I don't blog as faithfully as some others. Mostly, just when the fancy hits me, will I sit down and jot it in my blog. There are few people who actually read what I write, so knowing this gives me the freedom to be bold and honest in what I share.
Have you ever done a blog search? Me neither. However, I have wondered about doing it. What would I find on my subjects of choice? Would my Christian search yeild that one bit of wisdom that would make everything fall into place? Would my writing search show me a way to prevent spending hour after hour at this contraption trying to create the great Canadian novel?
What I do know I will find, with certainty, is people who, just like me, long to feel that they have a voice. The din of this world drowns out the voices of the meek. Much like my large family, the ones who did not aggressively voice themselves were given no voice.
Going into this new year, I desire to assure you, you do have a voice. God hears every word you utter. He hears the crying of your heart...the unspoken words, as well. You do have a voice.
Not only does He hear you, He cares about what you are saying, and listens intently. For myself, I would rather know that He is listening than any other ear on the face of the earth. Everything He hears is filtered through his heart of love.
So, my bold blogger friends -- and those of you who only have a voice in this place, know that God is listening, caring, and taking action on your behalf. You have a voice.
Be blessed with the assurance that you are never alone. God is always with you. You are also not alone on this contraption. We bloggers are right by your side, exercising our voices. Some of us will take the time to search the web for bloggers just like us.
That is one of my New Year's resolutions. To search the blogs and get in touch with some people who have the same passions as I do.
Until then, keep talking. God is listening. You have a voice.
Love in Christ, Jude
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